Lots of cancer survivors go through a "difficult" stage where they don't pay attention to what they should be doing, seem to give up or get angry. Sometimes the meds can contribute to this. And it's easy for a caregiver to start feeling guilty when you see the suffering a loved one is experiencing. Maybe it's time for you to put on your "Nurse from Hell" hat and tell your father what's what. But first, you must take care of YOU, because if you're not ok, then how can you be of any use to anyone else? As Alpaca says, you need to find someone that can help you. Do you have a family doctor or maybe your father's doctor that can point you in the right direction?

Until that happens maybe you can make a chart with a list of all the meds your father should be taking, what time, dosage, etc, a list of what bills should be paid and when, phone numbers of all the doctors and anything else you can think of. Then give your father a copy and tell him that since you are trying to do all this to help him survive, he has got to try and help out a little. I had to do something like this when my son got into severe depression, was not drinking his liquids, didn't want to eat and overdoing the Ibuprofen. I put a copy of my chart on the refrigerator and told him to check off all the things as he did them so everyone would know what he did (or didn't do). This can be handy when the doctor asks what's up. It can also help both of you to feel more in control of a very difficult and painful time. I've heard that smoking can cancel out the effects of Rad Tx. You could ask the doctor about this or whether a Nicotine Patch would be ok. And throw out the Vodka. Or have a drink yourself. Sometimes being a caregiver is so hard. After I had my "Nurse from Hell" session with my son, I cried all the way home in the car. But things got better after that. Sure hope things get better for you and your Father. Hang in there. Keep in touch here.