I just want to show solidarity. First of all you are not selfish. just the opposite. You might be too caring. You father is young! He needs to try to save his own life. How you get him to do that, I don't know. People in that situation often fail to listen to their nearest and dearest but someone from outside the family might be able to get through to him.

Your father's behaviour isn't your responsibility even if he does have cancer. He might feel better a couple of weeks after treatment ends and then maybe things will settle down a bit. YOU need counselling right now to help you stop your father's problems swamping you. I'm sure a counsellor would be able to give you advice to help you sort this whole situation out. There's always the Cancer Society too.

I wish you all the best.




1996, ovarian cancer surgery + cisplatin and taxol.
September, 2007, SCC of left lateral tongue. Excision.
October, 2009 recurrence in scar tissue, T1NOMO. Free flap surgery from left wrist - neck dissection. 63 year old New Zealander. No chemo, no RT.
February, 2014. New primary in left buccal mucosa. Marginal mandibulectomy, neck dissection, right arm free forearm flap. T1N0M0 but third occurrence and some areas of concern: RT started 8 April and finished 19 May.