Hi Steve,

You have the makings of a good attitude. "Good" is not enough.

You are attached to a particular outcome, that could prove fatal, or it might just change your experience from "unpleasant" to "horrific," when the only difference is mental attitude.

The attachment to a particular outcome, should the actual outcome be different, will lead to suffering caused by disappointment and fear, as fear of a different outcome than your preference is directly proportional to the emotional investment you make in desiring your preferred outcome.

Your life changed the moment you received a positive diagnosis. By clinging to your preferred outcome, you reject this new reality in favor of a fairy tale. DON'T DO THAT!

Accept that you have stepped out of the reality that you were at home in, and into a new reality. A reality in which you are unfamiliar with, and one no one wants to experience.

Well, amigo, how well and how quickly you adapt to this new reality will, to a large measure, determine how well you fare going through the entrance.

The key to a (relatively easy) trip through those portals is the ability to recognize the change, and the ability to maintain an accepting attitude.

This disease is a killer. You want to defeat it in the first skirmish, and that means you want to use the best weapons available at the time and kill it dead.

Your reality is that Cisplatin (which prevents cellular-mitosis in fast-growing cells - which cancer cells are while sensitizing those cells for radiation) at the same time as you are getting radiation to kill those cells.

There are no alternatives with a competitive record of successes on this front.

Change your attitude from "I don't want to suffer something horrible to just to beat a life-threat" to "hit me with everything that will destroy this threat to my life" and you'll be fine.

The truth is not always pretty, but it is always the truth. Just like reality.

Best of luck to you amigo, and please do not be offended by my frank tone, I want only for you to beat this completely with the minimum amount of suffering possible.

Bart