Hi, I haven't posted many times on here, but I read things all the time. I feel kind of silly for posting something now because right now at this minute, my dad is in remission. He's having a lot of nosebleeds and weakness. He sees his ENT tomorrow. I'm not convinced the cancer is back, but I'm also not convinced that it's not. My problem is that I feel like I don't handle these ups and downs very well and I thought people on here could understand how I'm feeling. A couple months ago they saw something funny on his esaphagus so I went into a major depression thinking the cancers back and he's going to suffer. Then we got the biopsy results back and they were ok so I was elated. Now he's having nosebleeds and weakness and I'm depressed again thinking that it could be back. I almost feel bipolar. I think it's because I feel like even if these results come back ok, then the next ones or the ones after that won't. I feel like it's just a matter of time before it really is back and everything will change. I'm sorry if I'm rambling but it's hard to talk to people in my real life because they just want to cheer me up and make me feel positive. But you guys know what I'm talking about, right? Am I crazy for feeling this way? Do other people feel this way or am I just super negative? Thanks for letting me vent.