I got through my 2 year anniversary and then things happened between me and my family and I got so stressed especially because my mom was the only one who was there for me the entire time has given up on me. I feel like I'm trying to self destruct. I'm drinking almost every day and it's not that I want to kill myself or cause a reoccurrence I just don't get what the point of it all is. If there's no one around to care about me and all I'm doing is going to work to go home to house where no one wants anything to do with me to go to sleep to go to work. It makes me wonder what I survived for.
I'm going to see a doctor because clearly my depression meds aren't working and I think I'm depressed bipolar. I keep having these high happy times then horrible outbursts where I don't even remember what I said or did. I feel so alone.