Keeping busy is the key, here. When the dark thoughts attack try not to give them too much time. . . like maybe a couple of minutes and then switch to all the things that could go right instead of the things that could go wrong. Your wife needs to keep busy, too. I know that's what helped me when my son was in treatment. Maybe she could make up a spread sheet or notebook with all the doctors' names, phone numbers, and names of the nice nurses and assistants that you/she talk to on the phone. You could ask her to make a list of questions you have or she has. That way if you have to call and talk to somebody different, you can mention names and that gets you further with having them help you. Have other people go with you to appointments and especially for your wife on surgery day. See a funny movie or whatever fun thing you both enjoy. You have a great attitude - just keep that going and you WILL beat this! My son had SCC Stage 2 and he is doing just great seven years later! Come here often. That really helps!