Hi Kathy. What you are feeling is completely normal and most of us caregivers have had the same "out of control" almost panicky feeling at one time or another. I remember when John was going through treatments I felt much more in control because I knew we were doing everything possible at the time to cure his cancer. Treatments end and you are left feeling like "now what"? All I can say is that the fear never goes away 100% but it does get easier the more months you have behind you. John will be out of treatments 3 years April 15th and I don't get nearly as panicky and scared as I used to. Let's face it - none of us are guaranteed our next breath. We live each and every day to the fullest and love each other more than ever! Continued good health to both of you.