Just to add to the very wise comments above...

It strikes me that we can't control statistics printed in black and white and control is something caregivers especially seek to reclaim when the cancer bomb has been dropped suddenly.

My fiance, Dave, is coming upon the one year anniversary of his/our diagnosis and treament for Stage III tonsillar cancer this month. Now that I have had some time to process the last several horrifying months, I realize that there were lessons in them I didn't even know I needed like how to be in the moment and celebrate the sheer thrill of being able to be in the company of Dave even if it is over a pizza (which he can now devour again).

I have been in hypervigilant mode for several months ready to throw my body in front of anything perceived as a threat to Dave because I didn't see cancer coming so I tried to overcompensate.Now I know better about how much negative energy that takes. Time is indeed a great healer. I am now able to see Dave first and the scary cancer monster as secondary to our life together, not the ruler of our destiny.

Hang in there,

Kim