Joan, I can only agree with what Sandy has said. Radiation treatments are awful; I totally agree, but you can and must get through them. I am the biggest coward in the world, and I got through over 35 treatments, plus surgery, plus three bouts of chemo. I know lying on that table is horrible, and you feel so helpless being strapped down with the mask, but as Sandy said, it is killing the cancer. I also had a feeding tube, and I hated it, but was glad that I had it. Please, please, please complete your treatments. I certainly don't think you are being a baby; we have all had those feelings, but I am two years out of treatment and just had another clear scan. Come here as often as you want, there are some terrific people here that will give you great advice and support.