I wish I could give you a big hug. That is such a lot to deal with all at once. Please keep coming back here for support and to vent your feelings if you need to. I'm recovering from a neck dissection right now. Radical on one side and selective on the other. At three and a half weeks out, I'm feeling pretty good. Cheryl is right, it isn't that bad a surgery. Be good to yourself and don't give up.