Hello HGT and welcome to OCF. I understand what you are going thru and its not easy. I am going to sound a bit harsh with what I am going to say to you. First get over the vanity, you have cancer! Everything else is trivial when you are going to have to fight for your life. I understand that you are concerned about your job, your family and their support. These are important but if you dont take your health seriously then you wont be around to worry about any of this.

Get a second opinion at a cancer center right away. Surgeons cut as you have found out. The cure for SCC is radiation with or without chemo and/or surgery. Thats it, nothing else will save your life. We all wish there were other cures available but there isnt.

Ive had the operation that you are describing and Ive lived thru it. I no longer live in my big beautiful house or work at my good job but I am here and alive and I count my blessings everday. I am very fortunate to be here with my family. No my quality of life isnt what it was but I am here and I am happy. You must learn to live with what you have and find happiness in that instead of in vanity and things. Its only stuff.

Sure, you can tell yor doc what you think needs to be done. That is not the wisest thing. Your doc hopefully has been thru years of training and treated many patients with oral cancer. They have much more experience in this than you do. Your doc is there to do what is in yoru best interest and save your life.

With this type of surgery you will need a trach to breathe. It is not optional. Your throat will be swollen closed. The operation is a long one as is the recovery. I had a harder time than most with this. My surgery was 10 hours and it took me 9 months until I was in pretty good shape. I was kept in the hospital for 2 months and had a visiting nurse for over a year. You may think that all of this is because Im old, well Im in my 40s which isnt old. This is cancer and it can be fatal if you dont take care of this. I would suggest that you get to a cancer center and get serious about successfully treating this.

Im sorry if I came across as stern, I was. Its very important that you realize how serious a diagnosis you have been given. It is life or death here and you need to understand how a wrong move here could lead you down the wrong path. Please do your family a favor and go to a cancer center right away.

I wish you all the best with this.