Hi Suez
This is your disease too. Has your husband considered what he is doing to you and your relationship. Does he even care?

I found in my own situation, that I finally had a response, when I burst into tears and told my ALex that I was not strong enough to go through this again and maybe I should just leave now and save the agony. It hasn't stopped him yet, but it has slowed him down dramatically, he has started taking anti-smoking medication and he doesn't smoke in front of me. He has promised to stop when he has his teeth (next week).

I had tried giving him the facts (he has a 50/50 chance smoke free which goes down to a 25% chance of survival if he keeps smoking). I tried guilting him into it (I gave up smoking for him, why couldn't he give up for himself?). I tried belittling him (correcting him everytime he started a sentence with " I am intelligent enough to ..." by pointing out the ultimate stupidity of smoking). The last strategy nearly broke us up as my own rising blood pressure was finally matched by Alex himself.

Now maybe all of these strategies had an effect, but it was the "what about me" strategy that has finally hit home. Whether this is enough to achieve total abstinence, I don't know and only time will tell, but I continue to hope as I don't particularly want to grow old alone.

Karen