Scot

I am so sorry to hear of the problems your BIL is facing. Sure he was dealt a bad hand but that does not mean he cant get thru this.

I will not go into too much detail about my situation, but I will breifly tell you if I can do it so can he. Im the biggest wimp around. My story is OC 3 times in 3 years, last time was Stage 4 and my jaw was removed. So many operations that Ive lost count, feeding tube twice for over 2 years. I spent 2 months in the hospital and Im still recovering.

The doctors giving just chemo does not make sense. Chemo will not take care of OC. Sometimes people have radiation alone, but never chemo alone unless other things are going on. If your sister isnt able to process everything due to being so upset then someone else also needs to go to his appointments. They can write things down.

As far as your BIL's being suicidal, he needs help. If your sister isnt able to contact someone at the hospital for help with this then maybe she should just go there in person. There must be some type of support group or someone for him to talk to there. What about a family doctor? Many OC patients use anti-depressants to get thru the horrors of this. Im sure it isnt just OC patients that struggle, probably any cancer patient would need some help.

Hopefully where your BIL is being treated is at a cancer center where they are familiar with oral cancer. I know you are far away, but it might be a good idea to take a trip to visit. If for nothing else, to ease your mind. It would make everyone involved feel better. That would show your BIL how much you care for him, your sister would be very happy to have someone to help.

Now is the time for your sister to round up all the friends and people who can help. Best of luck with everything.