Scot,
I 'm sorry your family is going through this. You have received some excellent advice from very knowledgeable folks. I have just a few small suggestions that build upon what has already been said.
----If at all possible, go to the next appointment with your BIL and sister. I'm sure your presence would be the most reassuring thing that you could do for them.
----Buy a small tape recorder and blank tapes (from somewhere like Radio Shack) and give it to your sister. Make sure she knows how to use it and have her tape next week's appointment (when you are there) and all future contacts with the medical team. I have done this and the doctors are used to it. This should eliminate any confusion about what was said, and what needs to be asked. Also, you will have the "real poop" on tape and can be better able to help her long distance from NC.
----Print out the
Getting Through It Draft and take it to your sister. I see by your posts that you have read it. It was a great help to me when I was newly diagnosed, terrified and needed quick access to accurate information. If you are with them next week, this will give you the opportunity to look at it together, and you can help them understand the treatment and how to complete it successfully.
[quote=Brian Hill] So lastly, he needs to believe that someone, perhaps someone worse off then him at the same point in treatment time, would be worth talking to... or given his likely difficulty in talking - listen to. I volunteer... Get him to consider it. He needs to hear something positive from someone on the other side of most of what is ahead of him. As much as you love him and want to help, somethings are best said guy to guy, and from someone who has lived in the same deep hole as you.
[/quote]----Please try to get your BIL to take advantage of Brian's generous offer. The guys on this forum have a strong male perspective in dealing with oral cancer and its lifelong implications. They won't sugar-coat things, but they have been there, and know the demons. Plus if your BIL is a BSG (Battle Star Galactica) fan, it would be an added male-bonding bonus!
