Im sorry you are going thru so many things at once. OC isnt easy but when dealing with after effects along with other hi stress things in life can make someone feel pretty miserable.

Have you tried exercise? You said it makes you ill. I was never an exercise person either, but recently found that I enjoy bike riding. I hadnt done it for about 30 years and went for a ride with my son. We had such a great time that I went out and bought a bike. Its amazing how much better you feel when doing something active. We went on a 26 mile ride and I felt a huge sense of accomplishment which boosted my self confidence. I bet if you would try, you could find some type of activity, even walking.

By doing something positive and completing an activity will give you a sense of pride. That is going to lift your spirits. Hope you find an activity to get involved with.