| | Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 346 Platinum Member (300+ posts) |  Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 346 | I agree with Gary. I used to cry everytime I went to ENT (and he
acted like he didn't see) I could not help it. I would get so mad
at myself!! But I see now that it was depression and I quess he wanted no part of that.
I finally was asked to be referred to a Psyc and he was recovering
from THyroid cancer! He didn't even listen, he just gave me free samples of Lexapro and told me how to take them and see ya! They made me sick, so I quit and starting walking briskly becasue the
depression I had was from a lack of seratonin. At least I found that out and got on internet to figure out how to boost it naturally. Now I take nothing. There are some bad days, but I don't think it's depression- but I just get plain scared.
It really is hard to find a therapist. I tried with my mother
years ago and it was a nightmare!.
I wish you luck. Start walking and keep busy-keep the mind busy.
Take care
Debbie
th
Partial mandibulectomy and neck dissection 2/3/07. T2NOMO.
Had 14 hour operation which included reconstruction of jaw.
Reconstruction failed. Some radiation, no chemo.
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,004 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,004 | I get plain scared too sometimes. I think we all do....what we are dealing with is not a walk in the park.
Suzanne
***********
T1 SCC on right side of tongue
Age 31...27 when diagnosed
4 partial glossectomies
No chemo or radiation
Biopsy on 2/2/10-Clear
Surgery needed again...no later than April 2011
Loving life and just became a mother on 11/25/10
It's not what we CAN'T do..it's what we CAN do:)
| | | | | Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 531 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 531 | Fear seems to be the nature of this beast....I am living proof to what extent fear can consume someone. I am to this day(the surgeon said he got everything and all clear)constantly feeling around my neck looking in my mouth every chance I get. Paranoid yes...scared as heck...of course...this was one of the scariest ordeals I have had in my life time. How will I react if something shows up weird I don't know yet have no clue, but I thank my lucky stars there are good people here to help me through. I am slowly moving forward step by step, moment by moment, day by day. If I have learned one thing yes it is good to plan but emotionally coping works to live in the moment.
Dianne..treatment at cc at Victoria Hospital, London, Ontario...insulin dependant, Surgery Sept 8/08 Tracheotomy,composite resection and bilateral neck dissection, left radial forearm free flap... T2N0 squamous cell carcinoma. No radiation A little over 2 yrs clear YAY
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,004 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,004 | I always check my tongue too. So much so that we keep a flashlight on the coffee table b/c I have Ray (my fiancee) check it all the time.
Has everyone heard the Jason Mraz song? There is a line in it where he says he's always checking his tongue in the mirror...I always smile when I hear it.
Suzanne
***********
T1 SCC on right side of tongue
Age 31...27 when diagnosed
4 partial glossectomies
No chemo or radiation
Biopsy on 2/2/10-Clear
Surgery needed again...no later than April 2011
Loving life and just became a mother on 11/25/10
It's not what we CAN'T do..it's what we CAN do:)
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 | I have found that the more time and distance I log since the end of Tx the less that I worry about my ordeal. I also think helping others go thru this ordeal makes me feel like I'm accomplished something good. Today recurrence is pretty much not a thought in my mind.
David
Age 58 at Dx, HPV16+ SCC, Stage IV BOT+2 nodes, non smoker, casual drinker, exercise nut, Cisplatin x 3 & concurrent IMRT x 35,(70 Gy), no surgery, no Peg, Tx at Moffitt over Aug 06. Jun 07, back to riding my bike 100 miles a wk. Now doing 12 Spin classes and 60 outdoor miles per wk. Nov 13 completed Hilly Century ride for Cancer, 104 miles, 1st Place in my age group. Apr 2014 & 15, Spun for 9 straight hrs to raise $$ for YMCA's Livestrong Program. Certified Spin Instructor Jun 2014.
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 | Wish I could say that with you David, My throat hurts so bad and my mouth so dry when I wake in the morning after one of many short sleeps.Now it's starting to hurt where the surgery was for the dissection. That is the only time I pay any attention to it. Brush the mouth and swish a little then go for the Coffee Pot.
Since posting this. UPMC, Pittsburgh, Oct 2011 until Jan. I averaged about 2 to 3 surgeries a week there. w Can't have jaw made as bone is deteroriating steaily that is left in jaw. Mersa is to blame. Feeding tube . Had trach for 4mos. Got it out April.
--- Passed away 5/14/14, will be greatly missed by everyone here
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,128 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,128 | [quote=suzanne98]I always check my tongue too. So much so that we keep a flashlight on the coffee table b/c I have Ray (my fiancee) check it all the time.[/quote]
I find that if I check my mouth too often, changes may sneak up on me -- So, I check about once a week or so.
Since there are two of you, why not take some digital photos? I did that with my first tumor and was surprised how much it obviously grew in a short time.
I recommend taking them outside in daylight so the lens is stopped down and the depth of field is such that you can get some really good detail.
Age 67 1/2
Ventral Tongue SCC T2N0M0G1 10/05
Anterior Tongue SCC T2N0M0G2 6/08
Base of Tongue SCC T2N0M0G2 12/08
Three partial glossectomy (10/05,11/05,6/08), PEG, 37 XRT 66.6 Gy 1/06
Neck dissection, trach, PEG & forearm free flap (6/08)
Total glossectomy, trach, PEG & thigh free flap (12/08)
On August 21, 2010 at 9:20 am, Pete went off to play with the ratties in the sky.
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 149 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | OP Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 149 | I had a good day or two and today I am scared again. It's amazing where my thought go-I could go visit a neighbor. It's a very old couple (like grandma and grandpa: their daughter and her baby are sometimes there). But no, I am sitting here afraid that I will be a bother or not have enough energy to be properly social and have a normal conversation; I am too tired to go "I may as well just sit here and rest."....
Dx 10/06 Adenoid Cystic carcinoma; Stage I. Soft palate/minor salivary glands.
Tx surgery 11/06 Tomotherapy (targeted IMRT) 3/07
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 309 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 309 | when i get down like that i push myself to break it before it grabs too strong of a hold. i know it is hard but it will only get worse if we do not manage it. i find it is worse when i am sitting around the house a lot and not keeping busy. if i am out and about or helping others in any way small or large, i forget about me and feel happy (even if i am in pain i am happy on the inside)
go visit those neighbors, go for a walk, make something for a friend, go to the park and feed the birds, make some cookies and take them to the senior center to treat them and make them smile ...
when we focus on others we lose site of ourselves ... when we stay focused on us and our own problems it only makes the worse.
Hope you find some peace soon - living with inner turmoil wears us out emotionally and physically.
**HUGS to you**
Rita - Age 44
wife, mother of 4 - ages 3,16,21,24 & grandma to 1
(R upper) Maxillectomy 8/8/08 - UW / Seattle, WA.
===============================
"Those who think by the inch and speak by the yard, should be kicked by the foot."
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 309 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 309 | ONE MORE THING ...
you may also be lacking some vital nutrients / vitamins / minerals when you are feeling real low too ... if you have that feeling of i just want to sit here and let the world go by, at times this can show a low iron state ..
may want to ask your MD to run a bloodtest and see if you are having some physical reason for the mental feelings
Rita - Age 44
wife, mother of 4 - ages 3,16,21,24 & grandma to 1
(R upper) Maxillectomy 8/8/08 - UW / Seattle, WA.
===============================
"Those who think by the inch and speak by the yard, should be kicked by the foot."
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