I am so excited about being in "Currently in Treatment!!! I never thought this day would come...all that waiting, about wore me out! Ok, im dying to tell someone, I have OFFICIALY gone through "1" treatment of radiation!!! And only "29" more to go! Thanks to all my friends on here, i was soooo prepared for this, my doctor was even impressed! Ok, on a more serious note...It wasnt that bad. Staying in that mask for 45 minutes got a little trying, they had to remark the mask because the swelling from the teeth being pulled went down, therefor my jaw was able to close a bit more, and they had to tatoo me because the tape blistered me. Tatoo...wow im 46 and i have 3 tatoo's on me (stomach, it helps line me up with the machine)that was pretty exciting though! So i guess im marked for life, like i would ever forget that i had Cancer! While they were re-doin the lining up, i had to tell myself to just breathe, in and out! Being straped down like that, really about makes you jump out of your skin, and that mask in so tight! But it is over with now, and I know what to expect so it isnt as scarey . Its the not knowing, that effects you, its a mind game! The minute I got home...I put a big "X" on the calender! Again, i want to thank everyone that has helped me get to this point, i couldn't have done it without ya'll.

Good for you Linda!! By the end of treatment, you'll be able to almost fall asleep during the time you're in the mask, lol. Marking off the calender is such a huge memory for me, I put one on my fridge and the biggest moment of my day was to put another X on it. I would take it down a few times a day, especially as I started to feel worse, and count and count. It did wonders for me and I still have that calender.
Good luck to you, you're my same age (I was 41 when in treatment and just turned 45 on Friday) and I have the tatoos across my chest too!

Linda, I love your attitude. You are going to be fine. I remember the first time too, and telling myself just to breath. I also remember being so thrilled to finally get things underway. You will lose weight and the mask will gradually become more comfortable. I used to nap during my treatments which were usually close to an hour long. I also used to take a Tylenol about 30 minutes prior to treatment which made things a little more comfortable as far as the mask being tight. You just keep that upbeat, positive attitude and the techs will think you are wonderful, and I am convinced things will be easier for you. After I was finished, one of the nurses told me it was really great to have one patient who was smiling and happy to be there, and I surely was that, as I know you are. I am very happy for you!

Linda, your attitude is awesome!!Keep it up, it definitely does help! God Bless, Carol

I have my mask mounted on a wall plaque, a 3 dimentional me coming out of a wall. My wife moved it from a living space into a hall. But when visitors come into the foyer they face that hall and the mask, even at a distance, is unique. I am attached to my mask.
Darrell

I was delighted to deposit my mask in the trash at MD Anderson and to never see it again.

Danny G.

Day 2: Easy as pie!! In and Out within 25 minutes! The mask was alot easier today, considering it was on for only a short time. I keep trying to count how many seconds im in there, but i get confused because the machine comes on and off 8 times. I have noticed some angles of the machine, it is on longer than some of the other angles. (why dont i just ask...your asking?) That would ruin my game, this way i keep entertained and not think about what it is doing to my neck and throat which i will find out sooner than i want to, im sure! Well, its time to go mark my calender, so i'll talk to ya'll tomarrow. Oh, and thanks for the replys...i always know im not alone

Linda, everyone here that has worn that mask wants you to know that you are NOT alone! Keep that great attitude going. Amy

Today is friday, so that makes it one week down and 5 more to go. The first week really wasnt that bad, getting use to the mask was my biggest deal, feeling a little nausea (could be the heat though too...100) other than that, nothing to complain about. I will keep ya'll informed of any changes during my second week.

Way to go, Linda! You have a great attitude and we enjoy reading your posts! Hang in there and keep making those X's.

Joyce

OK, some quick questions...Today is Sunday, why is half my tongue white and why am i already loosing my taste...(i can still taste a little in the front of my mouth(tongue)what happened to the second week here, hell i havent even made it through that one yet? (seems like i might be getting the raw in of the deal with this!) Still no sore throat though, how would it have changed since Friday, and i didnt have treatment on Sat. or Sun. What is going on???

Linda, I don't really understand why this would be, but I noticed that my condition during a week of treatment tended to remain fairly satble in terms of not a lot of new symptoms but I often found my symptoms progressed and worsened on the weekend in between treatment! So you aren't alone in this. The main thing to realize, I think, is radiation works it's wonders and it's damage long after you are out from under the mask, so really your symptoms can get worse at any time.

If half your tongue is white that might be thrush, although when you get mucositis there also is a wierd whitish layer of stuff that covers your tongue. You should check it out with someone to be sure it isn't thrush because if it is, it will need medication to go away.

I lost my taste after about a week of radiation--that doesn't take long for many folks--seems like it's one of the earlier symptoms. Don't worry, it will come back eventually......hang in there!

Nelie

Linda,

Nelie is right -- you can frequently have a delayed reaction as the cumulative effects of radiation build up in your system. I had similar experiences where a change in appearance or sensation in my mouth would occur over the weekend, and for me the distortion of taste buds was one of the early warning signs.

Cathy

Thanks Ladies, for writing me back. I forgot to mention that i wear a stint in my mouth to protect one side of it, that is why it probably is on one side only, and i also noticed my bottom jaw(where they took out my bottom teeth)is numb too. Without trying to sound gross, my spit is getting thicker? Is that the mucositis everyone talks about? But i am happy to inform ya'll that i got a donut down this morning, took me awhile (had to chew it in the very front,like a rabbit eats)but damn it was gooood!!!

Sorry, pushed the wrong button. Lets get back to that donut...hmmm it was good, of course i had to drink a whole bottle of water to get it down, but hey you gotta do what you gotta do, right? I meet with my doctor today, and i will show her and talk to her about all the changes and let ya'll know. And starting today, i get to make my "X"'s on my calender again! I hope week 2 goes as fast as week 1 did. Have a great day, ladies and thanks so much for letting me know that i am normal.

Hi Linda,
Mucositis is/are the sores that form inside your mouth and on your tongue as a result of radiation. They hurt like hell, but usually don't last long. You may need some lidocaine and lortab elixir (liquid Vicodin) to get through that time. I actually needed the fentanyl patches for two weeks.
Riley

Almost forgot-there is also Stanford Mouthwash and Miracle Mouthwash that the pharmacy can make up for you, and a yellow powder to apply to the sores. I don't remember the name, but I can find it if necessary.

Hi, Linda. The "spit" aka slime- is likely to get worse before it gets better. Have you been told to use baking soda and water [with salt mixed in if you can tolerate it] as a gargle\rince? Amy

6 Days down...24 more to go!!! I can do this talked to the doctor today, everything that i was whining about is NORMAL, and just about on schedule. I did find out that i was going to be receiving (66 gray) total of radiation. She said it was a light dose, does anyone out there know? Im starting to panick though a little, about the "not tasting thing" so i have gave my husband a list of places i want to eat this week, while the taste buds are barely hanging in there...hmmm! Well, all is well here, so until tomarrow. Everyone have a great day!

Linda, not to worry about the taste. It disappears for a while, then you will have fun when it returns after treatment. Salt comes first, sweet last. And because you can taste the first bite of something is no guarantee you will be able to taste the second. It is a spotty return, but eventually it all works together. This is a worry you can put to rest. I, too, went to favorite restaurants and was disappointed that things I usually enjoyed tasted different. Just go with the flow. It will only be that way for a few weeks. Your are correct: 24 is a piece of cake!

Linda,
yes 66 Gy is the low dose (but pretty standard). They can go as high as 81 Gy.

Today is Wednesday...I HAVE NO TASTE!!! One day it is going the next day it is gone. I cried through lunch and i cried through dinner I totally hate it. This is why people stop eating huh? Why eat if you cant taste! So is this when I need to start drinking Smoothie King(The Big Hulk)it is a nutrition smoothie with weight gain in it? Im so depressed, the things we take for granted! I dont know why i thought i would be different, I guess that was just hopeful thinking. 8 days down, and 22 more to go...without food!!! Someone out there please tell me what to eat ( i do mean eat, not drink) I want to crunch and chew!!! THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY, THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY, THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY...

Linda, AngelHair pasta and your favorite sauce [which you won't taste] will slide down easily.
Chicken thighs are much more tender and moist than breast meat, all kinds of beans and bean soup with ham will have some crunch-but if you can't taste them or they taste bad, you are not going to want to make the effort. Your big challange is to count calories [and liquids] and make sure you are getting what you need each day. And you are right, it is temporary for most folks.
This is the tough phase so stay strong. Amy

Linda,

I didn't have a tube at any point in my treatment, and ended up having to live on liquid/mushy meals for MANY weeks. Most of the time I couldn't chew solid food, even if it was very soft, so I resorted to the following: Carnation Instant Breakfast, broths of different flavors, pudding, ice cream, yogurt, fruit concoctions whipped up in the blender (but not acidic ones), baby food -- you get the idea. Yes, it all tasted terrible, but at this point you can't let your menu be dictated by your taste buds. Food is what you need for survival and whether you're eating by mouth or by tube, you have to get your daily intake to a healthy level and maintain it consistently.

Cathy

Linda,
We are called "patients" for a reason...it takes a lot of patience. I could eat no food for months, soft food and soups only for even longer, and eventually, to my surprise, things improved. Now I can eat just about anything that is not too spicy and I can really taste most foods, including Mexican food, steaks, pizza, etc.
I am about as impatient a person as you will ever meet (ask my wife about my driving in Houston traffic!) but when it came to cancer treatment and healing, I was very patient...I guess because I had no choice. If I saw a plate of chocolate chip cookies, but knew that I could not eat them, they did not even appeal to me..I did not even want them. I am still that way about certain things that are just too much trouble to eat...like a candy bar. But there are so many other things that I can eat and enjoy.
So Linda, it is early in your journey and you soumnd like you are doing fine...but you have a way to go..so enjoy the adventure as best you can and you will be fine.

Take care..
Danny G.

Thanks to all of you for letting me whine and ya'll listening, Im really sorry about it, and i wont continue the pitty party! I will get use to this, i just have to give it a few days. I weighed in today and i have lost another 2 pounds since Monday, so i have to stop whining and do something about this...I can do this! I just hit a big ass bump in the road, but i got over it!!! Ok tomarrow i am going to wake up, and its going to be a new beautiful day, and im going to be OK! Did i mention that i have only...21 more days or 4 weeks and 1 day. YIPEE, its going by pretty fast, which is good. My sister is coming in this Saturday from Pinetop,AZ. to stay a week with me, she will be a big help, but most of all great company! Well, its time to say Goodnight to all of you wonderful people, and thanks so much for all the support. Ya'll make it so much easier for us new ones, you dont realize how important ya'll really are. Thanks Amy, Cathy and Danny for just being there....

Linda, give your sister a list "a mile long" of things to do- she will love "doing" for you. Enjoy her being there. Amy

Linda,
Today was the first time I have been on here for a while. I finished my radiation treatments (had a tumor in my left tonsil) about the end of May. When I read you last post, I had tears in my eyes. I remember how hard and discouraging it was to loose my sense of taste. I don't want to scare you but it will get tougher. The good news is that these people know what you are going through and they can help you to get through this.

I did not have a feeding tube and I lost 70 pounds. That was over 1/3 of my starting weight. If I had it to do over (I hope I never do) I would have asked for one. I only lost about ten pounds during the radiation. The rest came afterwards. That was when my mouth and troat got sore.

You will find that no food is satisfying for a while (KEEP IN MIND THIS IS TEMPORARY) but you must get nutrition. I tried to drink the protien shakes (vanilla Ensure worked for me) and any of the "cream of" soups.

Make sure you do not have a lot of pain. Insist that your doctor prescribe you enough pain medicine to keep you from hurting.

Now that I have given you all that, here is the good news. I already have my taste back. I am eating almost anything I want and I am gaining weight. The tumor is gone and I am well on my way to being at my "new" normal.

Keep you chin up. Trust the people here to understand what your going through and, when you are feeling down, DO NOT GIVE IN!!

God bless,
Max

Hey Linda, I think I whined WAY more than you have so far when I went through rad and chemo. It isn't called whining when you're going through it, it's called VENTING. That's what I was told and I'm passing it on to you. Feel free to vent as much as you need to. We've all been there and we remember how yucky it was.

Nelie

YIPEE!!! I have completed my 2nd week, 4 more to go. Now that im over the "not eating thing" i only have a few minor side effects. My neck is a little red, not bad. My throat is still a little sore, not bad as i thought it would be. Does that get alot worse? My doctor told me it wouldnt be any worse than getting my tonsils out. The nausea thing comes and goes. My emotions are out of wack, i cry at the drop of a bucket, spit still thick, and i feel like i have something in the back of my throat? But as far as i can see...EVERYTHING IS DO-ABLE, right? And i will have to admit, time has gone by very fast, i cant believe iv done 2 wks. so far. I hope the rest goes by just as fast. I pick up my sister today from the airport, so i have something to look forward to and will enjoy her company for the next week. Thanks again, for all of your support, i couldnt do this without ya'll. I will keep you posted, everyone have a great weekend!!!

Linda, I absolutely love your attitude. Once you are through with treatment and back to "normal", you should really volunteer somewhere working with cancer patients going thru treatment. You would be an uplifting support for all who come into contact with you! Think about it, huh? Your encouragement would be "just what the doctor ordered" Thanks! JaneP
P.S. Have a wonderful visit with your sister

Linda,
I used to volunteer at CanCare which is located in Houston. They match you up with new patients who have a similar diagnosis for the purpose of giving you support and understanding. One of the reasons that I volunteered is that when my radiation treatments ended (sorry Linda...but it usually gets a little worse after the end of treatments before things begin to get better) I needed a little support and CanCare did not have enough oral cancer veterans to refer me a volunteer who had gone through the same thing. It seems like most men get prostate cancer and most women get breast cancer!
Linda, once you get to feeling better, you might want to consider vounteering at CanCare.(For that matter, you could call them and ask for a volunteer to help you if you ever feel the need.) I also think that you are doing fine. Just keep up those tube feedings and you will get plenty of nutrition. Eating is overrated anyway!!

Take care,
Danny G.
(sadly the only Danny left on OCF these days)

OK lets be honest here...My throat hurts like hell its hard to swallow everything including water!!! Third week, im sure ya'll can guess, this is when it kicks in huh? Must be, considering my Doctor prescribed all this pain medicine (patches) Fentanyl 25mcg. and Hydrocodone for break through? She said its going to be a long weekend and she thought i might need some of this for it...Wow what a way to celebrate Labor Day, haha. The sore throat and the eating, suck! I can so live with the sore throat, but nothing and i mean nothing taste good ( is this when the feeding tube needs to be inserted ) So far 12 days and into treatment and i have lost 6 pounds, is that good or bad? That in itself can be argued... i think it is great, but my tech doesnt think so, the mask is getting a little loose at the neck, much more and he said they will have to refigure the whatever...technical stuff they pay him to do! Ok, Ok, i hear you ( i wanted to tell him, lets see him swallow with a half fried throat! ) but i figured maybe not, since him and i bond for another 18 days. So any suggestions on what to eat, that doesnt taste like metal, im all ears!!! I hate anything sweet, grosses me out, makes me want to, well never mind, I hate meat...oh yuck!!! Spicey is bad too, kinda burns the throat It's so easy, if you dont swallow liguid or eat, then think about it...it doesnt hurt! BUTTTTT i know we need water and food or at least nutrition to survive, i was just making a statement, I know what i have to do, here, after all im a whining 46 yr. old woman. I HAVE TO EAT AND DRINK!!! hEY, but on the positive side of this...my skin looks good, only one power nap once a day, NO sores in my mouth, Thanks to the L-Lysine and the DGL the spit is alot better too, been using (L-Glutamine) nausea is gone, the crying is gone ( but not the whining) I am entitled to something after all! Ohhh, the lips are chapped, why i dont know? But got something for that too! So all is pretty good here, cant complain alot about this whole thing, i would much rather be doing this than having this cancer, so when i look at it that way...this is a minor thing i will go through for a short time, to get rid of this, so enough whining and lets move on! I WILL SURVIVE THIS, I AM STRONG !!! (of course with all of you, i am)

Hi Linda- You're right, you WILL survive this! For what it's worth:
I got through it without a PEG, but my son had to drive me to the MO every day for two weeks for IV hydration. This was further along than you are, though, about a month into radiation. The mucositis started about then but only lasted for two weeks. The lidocaine, lortab elixir and finally the Fentanyl patches controlled it.

I started out about 25 pounds overweight and lost 30 pounds. Over three months out from radiation now and still not eating; living on liquids (barf!) but maintaining weight. My energy level is low, however.

Keep on keepin' on, Linda. Every day is a day closer to the end of treatment and the beginning of recovery.

Riley

Well, I am probably going to step on some toes here[I don't mean too, and I will apologise ahead of time] but Riley's statement about managing to get through the treatment without a peg because his son was available to drive him to the MO everyday for 2 weeks for IV hydration struck a nerve. What if his son had not been available? What if the MO and the IV's were several hours drive away? What if he had gotten dangerously dehydrated in a short period of time-say over a weekend or holiday? If your Doc offers you a peg, I think you should do it. If the Doc does not, I think you should ask why not? And on both counts, you should assess very carefully what caregivers you have in place and how they feel about it. Amy

Linda,
After a couple of weeks of radiation I too lost my sense of taste and by the third week could barely swallow and got my PEG. I am one of the many here who is a big believer in the PEG tube and see nothing heroic or beneficial in foregoing the PEG. I never once had to go to MDACC for hydration or related problems. Since I kept a PEG for 10 months, I did change it out for a new one once.
I also got the 25mcg patch to start, but shortly thereafter moved up to a 50 and eventually 75. After treatment ended and the pain began to lessen, I moved back downward and eventually weaned myself from the patches.

Make it easy on yourself.

Danny G.

Linda, I am grateful to my docs for many things, but especially for just ordering a PEG - no discussion. I was not convinced it was necessary until I got to where you are. I was able to get the nutrition I needed to keep my energy level up and to heal, as well as get the absolutely critical hydration. When I needed meds, that was a quick way also. I had no problems with it and think I would have had a much worse time without. Give this some serious thought. No reason you should be any more uncomfortable than necessary.

Thanks to all who are concerned about me I have already given permission for the PEG. Did that when the treatment first started! Anytime she thought, it would be time to do it, im ready! Hey, doctors know best, and thank god i am not experienced in this, so i will trust her totally.(I bet she wants to do it next week) I went in today and lost another 2lbs. ( that makes 8lbs in less than 3 weeks) She only gave me 10lbs. cause of the mask getting loose. So im sure it will be coming sooner than later. But, seriously, im ok with it. I cant wait until this week is over with...2 more days, YIPEE! I get a long weekend too, no treatment on Monday will be a nice break from it all. So again thanks to all of you, i do listen to you, trust me, i wouldnt have made it this far without all the suggestions!

Linda, Please try as hard as you can to stay hydrated until you get the PEG. It is really critical, perhaps even more so than the calories you consume. Before I went fully on the PEG, I went in for extra hydration through my port several times before the daily amifostine and radaition, my MO's office ws really on top of that. If you aren't doing that you need to be pouring fluids down in large amounts, whether it hurts or not.

Nelie

YIPEE!!! Half way through treatment! I was soooo sooo glad to see this day come. 3 more weeks or 15 more days and im done, well that is with treatment, but hey that is a start to recovery!!! The only problem i am having is the eating, sorry guys, everything you tell me to try, its so yuck!!! I have lost another 2 pds. so im sure this coming week the tube will be put in place, (you know, i really do welcome it) nothing, and i do mean nothing...taste good! It all taste like metal, i cant stand it. Other than that, yea my throat is a little sore, but nothing i cant live with, my skin is red, but doesnt hurt, so that is livable. YES, YES, this thick spit is driving me nuts...I hate that too. Im still drinking tons of water a day, no problem with dehydration. Oh, i do have a question though...has anyone ever had problems with their stint this late in the game? Everytime i put it in now, i gag, its like a mental thing or something, it makes me so mad, but i have to really put my mind in it, then after 5 or 6 tries, it goes in, and the tech. knows he has to hurry and get that mask on and start zappin! He is very patient with me, and has told me, this normally starts happening, but i have never read anything on here about that? So if anyone has any suggestions PLEASE HELP ME! I want to stay best buds with my tech. and not drive him crazy, haha! Its a long weekend and i have Monday off too, which is soooooo welcomed. My sister has been here, and it has been great, kept my mind off of it, sorry to say i take her to the airport Sunday, and she is off to AZ. Well, that is my update, so everyone enjoy "Labor Day Weekend" and you will hear from me next week! YIPEE, HALF WAY THROUGH!!!

Linda,
Way to go, you sound like you are doing fine, especially your attitude. (Although it used to bug me when people who had never been through anything like this would say: "keep a good attitude, it really helps"). Getting a PEG is a very simple procedure and nothing to fear.
It just so happens that I finished my treatments right before labor day 4 years ago, so I indentify with you finishing up this hot time of year. Soon you will be through.

Take care,
Danny G.

Dear Linda, once "Miss Peg" is in place, you won't have to deal too much with the weight loss issue. My husband is up to about 4500 cal. a day, strictly by peg. [Course some of that is beer, but I don't care] In the past 3 weeks, he has come from 117 lbs up to 130. Yippee, indeed .
Your attitude is so good-kep it up and glad you had fun with your sister. Amy

Linda, About halfway through my treatments I could not longer eat solid food. I didn't even want it, it was too much work to eat. I lived on liquid dietary supplements like Ensure (except I bought the store brand because they were cheaper). It didn't matter what they tasted like except I preferred vanilla because it seemed to have a better texture. I lived on this liquid diet for several months. I started back on solids with creamy soups and pasta. You need to eat to heal. My doctor told me I had to eat to get better and I made the effort because I really wanted to get better as soon as possible. I got my appetite back about a month and a half after treatments ended. You need to get into the texture of the food while you have no taste. Serve yourself on your good dishes and appreciate the appearance and texture of the food. You seem to have a good attitude about your radiation and that is what got me through it. Welcome those beams of radiation into your body don't resent them. They are what will kill any cancer that might be in there. If you lose taste buds and salivary glands along the way it is worth it! Hand in there. You will get through this. I am celebrating my one year anniversary of finishing treatments and being cancer free this week. I feel great. (I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer of the tonsil.) Rainey

Hello Everyone, how goes it? Long time since i posted on here, i'll bring you up to date...First of all, TODAY IS FRIDAY 4 WEEKS DOWN AND 2 MORE TO GO!!! Wow time flys by when your having so much fun. I totally have stoped eating,sorry i just cant help it,(lost 20pds.)Soooo the good news is this, I am having the tube put in Monday, spent all day down town at M.D. giving blood and getting ready, DAMNIT i cant wait, i have started to scare myself and needless to say, no energy at all, haha its amazing what nutrition does for us, huh? My neck is starting to feel like a really bad "sunburn" but it is livable, my throat, well its just not that bad as long as i keep drinking water, it helps take the pain away cause it stays moist instead of dry ( little trick i learned when having my tonsils out ) Im not on any pain medicine at all, dont really feel the need to yet! Knock on wood!!! The thick spit, it drives me crazy though, someone should find a cure for that in itself, we can fly to the moon but we cant help cure dry mouth??? But that is about it so far, next week im going on 5, then only 1 more then DONE!!! Then getting well, which i just welcome not having to go to treatment every dang day!!! One question, has anyone had problems with gagging on the stint??? This has become a major ordeal with me, and it makes me cry, cause i dont know why this is happening now??? Have a great weekend everyone and lets get some rest

Got the tube put in today, I forgot what it felt like to be "full". So far so good. They had to give me some saline due to being dehydrated, but all is fine now. It was great for my husband to wake me up this evening and tell me "honey its time for supper", its funny what we take for granted! Well no one answered my question on how to not gag with the stint during treatment? Does anyone know? We'll talk again soon, everyone have a great week

Boy, gotta love your attitude! Linda, I don't know if what you are referring to as the "stint" is the rubber protector for your teeth or something else, but you might want to ask about a med to relax you or make you drousy before having the rad tx. Glad you got the peg. Keep that great attitude. Amy

Well its been 1 week since i got the tube!!! What a life saver, i cant express how much this tube has helped me, im scared to think what would have happened without it. Was put in the hospital a couple of times, getting rehydrated, but all is fine now! Today is Monday so i talk to the doctor and see if they are going to double up on my treatments due to the hospital stays, this is supposed to be my last week, but have missed 4 days due to being sick. At this point..."bring it on baby" im so tired of this going in everyday, i cant wait to start to heal...life after cancer, wow i cant wait!!! Has a great ring to it, doesnt it? I hope everyone has a great day.

Go- Linda-Go Amy

I HAVE GREAT NEWS.....found out my schedule!!! YIPEE I have "only" Wednesday, Thursday, Friday (double up) Monday and Tuesday (double up)Thank goodness I can see an end to this...7 more treatments and its done!!! Had to go to the hospital today, i cant seem to stay hydrated I think it might be from all im doing right now, (we are building a new home) but hey it keeps my mind off this cancer, so whatever works...I can hear my bell ringing really soon!!!

Today is Sunday and i can see the light at the end of the tunnel! Monday and Tuesday, one treatment Monday and two on Tuesday...I just need a little more strength to see the end of this! I never thought this would be the fight of my life...Im a strong person, I so saw myself getting through this, with no big problems at all. I could handle this easily. Well, Im here to say, this kicked my butt! I cant eat, I cant drink, this damn slimey spit, the sore in my mouth is driving me nuts, the burn on the back of my neck (looks like a bullet hole) NO ENERGY at all, i feel like im 100 yrs. old instead of 46... my stomach tube is making me sore.(how long does that take to heal?) " Im sick of being sick " I want my life back and i want to feel good again, I want to go back to my boring ass job! I want to eat and drink, i want to swallow without gagging...Im beginning to think the Radiation was the easy part, and i just thought this was hard...haha, Im just skimmy the surface here, the healing of the body and soul and mind...this is going to be the real fight of my life, right? How long will this take? Is that the million dollar question? This is where, taking one day at a time...comes to life!!!

Linda, tomorrow is the FIRST day of the REST of your life-focus on that! You have been a wonderful example of grit, determination and humor throughout your posts. There are many people here who have benefitted from your posts here. Hang in there-you are a great example of courage-one day at a time. Amy

Linda, you are about through it. I was "sick of being sick" too. You will finish the treatments tomorrow and you can expect the soreness to get worse for about ten days or so.... And then you should start feeling a little better. You have come this far. You can make it through! Keep your sense of humor, use the meds, and focus on beating this! Everyone who wins over cancer is a victory for all of us! We are survivors and so are you. Don't forget that.

Linda,

I'm sick of being sick too. I have 8 more days to go. You have been an inspiration to me and have given me some good tips as well. Your posts keep me going, I look for a new post from you everytime I come to this board. Great job and keep posting...thank you

Tim Stoj

I did it!!! Its over and out!!! No more Treatments!!! This morning was a little rough, they had to stop the treatment cause i got sick, the second treatment, i went in lil more drugged up, to come through it! I never in my right mind thought today would be as emotional as it was! I have cried out of relief, out of joy, out of just being tired of all this! I realized today, that this has been a very important part of my life...I wonder if i have been tested, my heart, my strength, why did i survive cancer when you didnt? I feel almost quilty, I miss you everyday, every second of time! You are one of my guardian angels i can feel it. I love you Mother and miss you always. I want to thank everyone one in my support group...My husband, my children, my sister, my sister-in-law, and all of you out there. I couldnt have even begun to do this without each and everyone of you. Tim, i can see the light at the end of your tunnel and it is shining bright, hang in there! And Amy, you are so right, tomarrow in the first day of the rest of my life...I cant wait to stop and smell the roses, and to feel the sunshine in my face,(not on the neck yet though haha) I promise to take each day as it comes and learn to take all the small things in life and remember the importance they play. I will tell all the ones that i need to tell, i love them no matter when or for whatever. I will not take life for granted anymore! Or all the loved ones around me! I will no longer be on the site "currently in treatment" but i will be around in other topics because i will remain on here until there is nothing else to be said about oral cancer! So for awhile if you need me, i will be in " After Treatment Issues " . Thank you again to all my new friends i have met through here and know that all of you will always be in my prayers. I cant say its been fun...but it has been real!!!

Well Done Linda,

As I said you are an inspiration to folks like me. I'll look forward to seeing your posts in After Treatment Issues.

Again WELL DONE!

Tim Stoj

To Linda from Amy: Re After treatment issues: #1. Smile every morning in the bathroom mirror. #2.Read something good while having breakfast. #3. Plan at least one really enjoyable thing to do each day. #4.Head off any potential stress items with a plan of attack, #5.Plan some "relaxation\down time into your day. #6. Know when the day should end. #7. At the end of each day-count your blessings - or the good things that happened that day. #8. Look forward to tomorrow being even better. You are the kind of personality that can do this. Amy

Congratulations, Linda! You really have accomplished something tough and come out smiling. To add #7 to Amy's wonderful list, acquire some sun hats you like and get used to popping one on whenever you go out. The irradiated skin will need protection forever more, which in your case I am sure will be a very, very long time. Again, Congratulations!

Linda,
You can stop to smell the roses now and in a short period you will be able to taste them too (if you want to)

Keep the sense of humor.

Max

Linda,
Congratulations on completing your treatment! As you have heard from many of us old hands, our most difficult time was the period in the first couple to few weeks after radiation ended. So keep us posted, let us know how you are doing, and, if you need any support, please ask for it, here or elsewhere.

Thinking of you,
Danny G.

Linda,
Congratulations on completing your treatment! As you have heard from many of us old hands, our most difficult time was the period in the first couple to few weeks after radiation ended. So keep us posted, let us know how you are doing, and, if you need any support, please ask for it, here or elsewhere.

Thinking of you,
Danny G.