I never thought of the term "Starving to death" as such a big deal until now as I watch my dad "starving to death".

Quick History: Dad is currently in treatment. He does NOT have a peg tube in because the doctor said it would delay the healing process. He has 4 days left of Radiation and 1 chemo treatment. He has no energy, looks HORRIBLE, and hasnt eaten a thing in days. And prior to those days, he had a bite or two. He cant swollow and is constantly throwing up the mucus in the throat.

WOW... It is just HORRIBLE watching my dad go thru this. He has lost about 50 pounds, his jeans are totally falling off. He said "He would rather starve to death than go thru this crap". He is ready to throw in the towel.

Please O Please...can anyone give me suggestions on what to do? What "words of encouragement" might get my dad thru this?

Thanks.

Cindy

I am completely bedwildered about why a doctor would say having a PEG under these circumstances would delay the healing process. What will delay the healing process is inadequate fluids and nutrition. Your dad needs calories, plain and simple. I can see a doctor saying it is good for him to try to take them orally for as long as he can but obviously right now he can't. I would call that doc right now and throw whatever kind of fit you need to to get your Dad on a feeding tube (unfortunately, getting one now will not be a very comfortable thing for him but it's clear he needs it).

Nelie

Been there done that. I had a peg & pretty much refused to use it. I lost 50 lbs by the end of rad. Can he chug any liquid, like carnation instant breakfast in between throwing up. The chocolate with bananas blended in it at least tasted good even when I was so sick. I could not stomach the isosource, ensure, etc. For me they all had this underlying taste that just grossed me out. I used club soda to gargle & swish & rinse the mucous which helped a lot. I was the sickest, mentally & physically during those days & will never forget it. Nutrition & hydration in any way shape or form are essential - NOW. Anything he can get down, anything, is ok. If nothing else, he has to drink water as much as he can. I know he does not care right now, but down the road from this he'll be a lean machine & feel great once he gets back in shape. Don't fight with him, he needs that energy to heal, just coax him through. Nothing sounds appetizing to him right now, but he has to be in survival mode & just gulp, swallow, chug anything he can. He is in some dark days right now & my heartache goes out to him, but this is doable. Tell him if one man can get through this then so can he! Erik

Since it is so close to the end, ask about a nasal feeding tube. They aren't pretty, but easy to use. Sit in a chair and watch TV or read for a half hour while gravity feeds the tube. I don't think I had to swallow to use it.

Take care,
Eileen

Does your dad have a Port in place? We used this for a few weeks when Pete was unable to withstand even tube feedings. He can be fed overnight without any discomfort to him.
Sometimes the things some Doctors tell their patients just amaze me!
If he does not get some nutrition and fluids in his system he will end up in hospital, and that should be avoided if possible.

Take Care
Marica

Cindy, Since I can count every bone in my husband's body right now [because he isn't taking in enough nourishment by tube or by mouth] I agree that you should be raising cain with someone right now and FAST. Erik says don't fight with him-o.k.- just threaten to call an ambulance to get him to the hospital where he can be fed iv. He can, in fact-starve to death-and the other thing is, he is making it so much harder on his body to cope and he is hindering the healing process. Its really scary, isn't it! Amy

Cindy
Find the nutritionist at the facility where he is being treated ASAP. I really find it difficult to believe that the staff where he is getting treatment are not concerned? Bob was overwieght when he started treatment and even though he had the wieght to lose the nurses and nutritionists were constantly on him to stay nourished or get a PEG. You NEED TO JUMP IN and find out what is going on. They may not know he is not getting nutrition especially if he is one of those guys who when asked how are you? reply "I'm fine" out of reflex. Really the next two weeks or so may be the hardest yet but if he gets through them with some nutrition IV or otherwise and some good pain management. When he finishes rads and chemo he will need lots of rest ( Bob slept for a week ) and possibly something to keep him from being constipated which can be a side effect of the pain meds. He really should soon be starting on the road to recovering. He is so close... Best to you and Dad.
Peace Denise

Cindy,

Add me to the list of those who are astounded that his medical team isn't doing more to stay on top of this. Even though I didn't lose a great deal of weight during radiation, my radiation team had regular meetings with me to review in detail what I was getting for daily nutrition and to do what they could to ease my eating problems.

The effects of radiation can linger for weeks (sometimes months) after the last dose is administered, so it's really critical to try to get his doctors and nurses to start turning this situation around now.

Cathy

Cindy:
Override this Doctors authority. A PEG can be installed overnight if you get a Gastro lined up to do the procedure.
This Doctor is wrong......
Darrell

You guys are absolutely wonderful and I thank each of you for being an active part of this site. 3 DAYS LEFT of RADIATION and 1 CHEMO TREATMENT. Ill keep ya posted.

It has been since June 1999 when I had my operation and if it wasn't for the nose feeding tube first....then a switch to the "G" tube in my side because of the radiation, I would not be here now. Those things saved my life. The radiation is very rough on the throat and swallowing and the last thing he'll want to do is swallow towards the end of radiation. Please get something nourishing into this man and FAST...Today, I eat everything in a blender with less than half a tongue but I am here and kicking in 2006. I will keep you in my prayers....Flo

Cindy,
Please keep in mind that the first two weeks following the end of radiation are often the toughest. Given your Dad's condition, you need to figure out how to get nourishment in him so that he can recover more quickly from the treatments, especially in the next few weeks.

I agree with the others on this message thread, you need to talk with the nutritionist at your Dad's facility, or another doctor. Often facilities will have an oncological nutritionist who specialized in these types of problems. At the very least, he should be getting some hydration intravenously if he's unable to swallow and has no feeding tube.

There are a number of possibilities for improving his nourishment and you may have to create a fuss to get somebody's attention. Good luck. - Sheldon

Hello All,

Just wanted you all to know I changed my mind and will give Erbitrux a try starting tomorrow. It was approved by the FDA in early March.

Have lost 80% of my hearing in my right ear. A fluid build up from the tumor in the right tonsil region. Feel dizzy at times and tired.
Cross your fingers for me. I'm hoping the side effects are not to bad but I am worried about them.

All my best, Danny Boy

Brian, Could you move this to it's own posting?

You may wish to look at Nan P's thread in "medication, treatment and procedures". There are some similarities and thoughts that may help you.