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#35345 07-03-2007 10:27 PM
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Hello friends, I have been trying to post, but it hasn't been easy. First I wasn't ready, then the system was down for a few days. So I am here now to let you know that my dad, David, passed away last Wednesday June 27, 2007. It has been 1 year since his diagnosis and one heck of an experience. From the time my dad found out he had cancer he was on a mission to beat it. He said he knew that this was going to be the one thing that took him out, but decided to fight with all of his might(even if it didn't make a difference). I will tell you all that it made a difference to me. It made a difference to my family. It made a difference to his doctors (especially in Santa Barbara- they say Los Angeles is the "city of angels" I think they meant Santa Barbara). I don't know where exactally I want to go with this post- family, friends, doctors, treatments or a million things- so I won't because it to many different things and this will be all over the place. I would like to focus on my beloved father and every person who has lived or died with cancer. I would like to thank my father and people I have met in person, online, for sharing this with me because it has changed my life. I am really without words about how I feel and what you have taught and shown me about love, life, fear, anger, compassion, graditude, patience, strength, control, loss and new beginings.
I have seen a person sick as hell with cancer get up and hold the door for someone and not get a thanked and be ok. And I am thinking wow with all this other(cancer, doctors, meds- all this fun stuff) going on they still have everyday life bullsh!t and they're ok. It has been real humbling for me and a huge life lesson. And not that those kinds of things don't happen all day somewhere to all kinds of people but I have lived it and it blows my mind.
I have been taught to live everyday as best as I can and to be very thankful for the tiniest things. You know when ice chips can make someones day thats pretty amazing. I want to thank this site and all of you for being my lifeline in some of the darkest moments I have ever been in. I want to thank you for hugs, encouragement, and making me laugh when it didn't seem possible. I want to thank you all for fighting hard for yourselves and others. I want to thank the people who stick by you because thats who I am and will always be. Daughter, Mother, Sister, Wife and Friend
Thanks for letting me share.


karen and dad
#35346 07-03-2007 11:49 PM
Joined: Jun 2007
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Hi Karen,

I have been following your posts about your dad and I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.


Margaret
----------
C/G: Husband, 48 (at time of dx)
Dx 5/18/07 SCC, BOT, lymph node involvement. T1N2BM0. (Stage 4a, G2/3)
Tx 6/18 - 8/3/07, IMRT x 33 Cisplatin x3 (stopped after 1st dose due to hearing issues). Weekly Erbitux started 6/27/07 completed 8/6/07.
#35347 07-04-2007 02:12 AM
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Karen, I'm sitting here reading your post, and thinking what a lucky, lucky man your Dad was to have a daughter like you in his corner.

No one who suffers the wrath of the Beast deserves that ordeal in their lives. To fight the fight is the hardest challenge I've ever faced, and I know that without the same kind of support that you showed your Dad, I wouldn't have made it through.

You loss fills me with sorrow. It also fills me with hope. Our world is so rapidly losing it's ability to care, or be compassionate to someone in need, especially someone as important as family.

Family is first...everything else in this world is just noise. Thank you for being there for your Dad the way you were. It meant the WORLD to him, and for a Dad, there is NOTHING more special and important than to know his Daughter loves him unconditionally, through everything good and bad. When you were young he was your protector and provider...there is no greater gift you could have given him than to be there for him when he needed protecting.

You did him, and yourself, very proud. No one can ever take that from you.

Be strong, smile at the good memories, cry when you need to, and remember always that your Dad is looking down with a smile on his face saying "that's my Daughter...isn't she something??"
Wayne


SCC left mandible TIVN0M0 40% of jaw removed, rebuilt using fibula, titanium and tissue from forearm.June 06. 30 IMRT Aug.-Oct. 06
#35348 07-04-2007 02:17 AM
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Karen, I am so sorry for your loss. I've been following your posts and your dad's battle and it's obvious he fought as hard as he could, maybe he was able to do that ebcause he had your support and love in the hardest moments. You and the rest of your family are in my thoughts.

Nelie


SCC(T2N0M0) part.glossectomy & neck dissect 2/9/05 & 2/25/05.33 IMRT(66 Gy),2 Cisplatin ended 06/03/05.Stage I breast cancer treated 2/05-11/05.Surgery to remove esophageal stricture 07/06, still having dilatations to keep esophagus open.Dysphagia. "When you're going through hell, keep going"
#35349 07-04-2007 02:26 AM
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Karen, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I know you did everything you could, and you helped make his last months so much better with your help and constant love. As someone who also lost a Dad, I know how hard it is to feel that void in your life, but you are right about what it teaches you as far as what's important in life, and family, and friends.


Ginny M. SCC of Left lateral tongue Dx 04/06,Surgery MDACC 05/11/06: Partial glossectomy with selective neck dissection. T1N0M0 - no radiation. Phase III clinical trial ("EPOC" trial)04/07 thru 04/08 because tests showed a 65% chance of recurrence. 10 Year Survivor!
#35350 07-04-2007 02:31 AM
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So sorry for your loss. I too have been following your posts. It was an amazing journey for you and your DAD.

Forever In Your Heart

When you speak of him speak not with tears
for thoughts of him should not be sad
Let memories of the times you shared give you comfort, for his life was rich because of you
And though for now you had to part, though to part he did not choose; he'll be with you along life's parth,
Forever In Your Heart

Hope it helps. Carol Ann...


Carol CG to Husband age 60 Stage IV SCC right tonsil T4AN2B tx rad x 35 chemo x 2 Currently after treatment no sign of cancer in throat. (all clear to date)
#35351 07-04-2007 02:53 AM
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Karen' Cancer seems to respect no boundries. As awful a jorney the treatments present to the patient family and caregivers it also shows as you have said so elegently the stregnth, love and compassion in all of us.
The medical staff who treat my husband are the most incredibley caring folks I have met.
Your dads illness has brought out strenghs in you you never knew you had.
You did the most any child could do- you were there for him.

Paula


caregiver to Gil dx SCC 11/05 T2N2M0
finished tx 3/10/06 stage 4 rt tonsil,BOT,2 lymphnodes,35IRMT,6 chemo
#35352 07-04-2007 03:01 AM
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Posts: 525
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Dearest Karen

I send my deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family.

What a Powerful Message you wrote. A Life Lesson for all to heed. You will never have bitter tears.

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.

Death is a punishment to some, to some a gift, and to many a favor.

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge, that myth is more potent than history. I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts - that hope always triumphs over experience - that laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.

With Love, Petey


DX 3-21-07 L tongue,SCC Stage IV (T3N2MO) TX Slash/Burn/Poison Method.
***Rapid Aggressive Recurrence 8-4-07 with same DX/TX. Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. Never Give Up! ****UPDATE**** Our dear friend Petey passed away, RIP 9-2-07
#35353 07-04-2007 05:21 AM
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karen
so sorry for youe loss.you dad was lucky to have you,my dad had lung cancer,my dad passed too. you are in my thoughts and prayers as is the rest of your family.
friends
lynn


linda anderson
#35354 07-04-2007 05:24 AM
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Dear Karen,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I pray that you find peace and feel his warm embraces from above. You were a wonderful daughter and friend to him when he needed that most. You have given me inspiration to be the best daughter/caregiver to my mother. Please keep in touch. I'll always be praying for you and your dad.
Love, Donna


Donna
CG to Mom, dx 4/25/07 with tongue cancer,T3N0,tx began 7/6/07, 31 tx's of IMRT, 8 cycles of Erbitux. Brachytherapy, surgery, left neck dissection and temp trach placed all on 9/17/07, trach removed 10/17/07. ORN of jaw, late effect of radiation symptoms. **lost my beautiful mother on 5/5/11.
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