Hello friends, I have been trying to post, but it hasn't been easy. First I wasn't ready, then the system was down for a few days. So I am here now to let you know that my dad, David, passed away last Wednesday June 27, 2007. It has been 1 year since his diagnosis and one heck of an experience. From the time my dad found out he had cancer he was on a mission to beat it. He said he knew that this was going to be the one thing that took him out, but decided to fight with all of his might(even if it didn't make a difference). I will tell you all that it made a difference to me. It made a difference to my family. It made a difference to his doctors (especially in Santa Barbara- they say Los Angeles is the "city of angels" I think they meant Santa Barbara). I don't know where exactally I want to go with this post- family, friends, doctors, treatments or a million things- so I won't because it to many different things and this will be all over the place. I would like to focus on my beloved father and every person who has lived or died with cancer. I would like to thank my father and people I have met in person, online, for sharing this with me because it has changed my life. I am really without words about how I feel and what you have taught and shown me about love, life, fear, anger, compassion, graditude, patience, strength, control, loss and new beginings.
I have seen a person sick as hell with cancer get up and hold the door for someone and not get a thanked and be ok. And I am thinking wow with all this other(cancer, doctors, meds- all this fun stuff) going on they still have everyday life bullsh!t and they're ok. It has been real humbling for me and a huge life lesson. And not that those kinds of things don't happen all day somewhere to all kinds of people but I have lived it and it blows my mind.
I have been taught to live everyday as best as I can and to be very thankful for the tiniest things. You know when ice chips can make someones day thats pretty amazing. I want to thank this site and all of you for being my lifeline in some of the darkest moments I have ever been in. I want to thank you for hugs, encouragement, and making me laugh when it didn't seem possible. I want to thank you all for fighting hard for yourselves and others. I want to thank the people who stick by you because thats who I am and will always be. Daughter, Mother, Sister, Wife and Friend
Thanks for letting me share.

Hi Karen,

I have been following your posts about your dad and I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

Karen, I'm sitting here reading your post, and thinking what a lucky, lucky man your Dad was to have a daughter like you in his corner.

No one who suffers the wrath of the Beast deserves that ordeal in their lives. To fight the fight is the hardest challenge I've ever faced, and I know that without the same kind of support that you showed your Dad, I wouldn't have made it through.

You loss fills me with sorrow. It also fills me with hope. Our world is so rapidly losing it's ability to care, or be compassionate to someone in need, especially someone as important as family.

Family is first...everything else in this world is just noise. Thank you for being there for your Dad the way you were. It meant the WORLD to him, and for a Dad, there is NOTHING more special and important than to know his Daughter loves him unconditionally, through everything good and bad. When you were young he was your protector and provider...there is no greater gift you could have given him than to be there for him when he needed protecting.

You did him, and yourself, very proud. No one can ever take that from you.

Be strong, smile at the good memories, cry when you need to, and remember always that your Dad is looking down with a smile on his face saying "that's my Daughter...isn't she something??"
Wayne

Karen, I am so sorry for your loss. I've been following your posts and your dad's battle and it's obvious he fought as hard as he could, maybe he was able to do that ebcause he had your support and love in the hardest moments. You and the rest of your family are in my thoughts.

Nelie

Karen, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I know you did everything you could, and you helped make his last months so much better with your help and constant love. As someone who also lost a Dad, I know how hard it is to feel that void in your life, but you are right about what it teaches you as far as what's important in life, and family, and friends.

So sorry for your loss. I too have been following your posts. It was an amazing journey for you and your DAD.

Forever In Your Heart

When you speak of him speak not with tears
for thoughts of him should not be sad
Let memories of the times you shared give you comfort, for his life was rich because of you
And though for now you had to part, though to part he did not choose; he'll be with you along life's parth,
Forever In Your Heart

Hope it helps. Carol Ann...

Karen' Cancer seems to respect no boundries. As awful a jorney the treatments present to the patient family and caregivers it also shows as you have said so elegently the stregnth, love and compassion in all of us.
The medical staff who treat my husband are the most incredibley caring folks I have met.
Your dads illness has brought out strenghs in you you never knew you had.
You did the most any child could do- you were there for him.

Paula

Dearest Karen

I send my deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family.

What a Powerful Message you wrote. A Life Lesson for all to heed. You will never have bitter tears.

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.

Death is a punishment to some, to some a gift, and to many a favor.

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge, that myth is more potent than history. I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts - that hope always triumphs over experience - that laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.

With Love, Petey

karen
so sorry for youe loss.you dad was lucky to have you,my dad had lung cancer,my dad passed too. you are in my thoughts and prayers as is the rest of your family.
friends
lynn

Dear Karen,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I pray that you find peace and feel his warm embraces from above. You were a wonderful daughter and friend to him when he needed that most. You have given me inspiration to be the best daughter/caregiver to my mother. Please keep in touch. I'll always be praying for you and your dad.
Love, Donna

Karen,

So sorry for the loss of your Dad. Prayers & Hugs to your family.

OCF is always here for you, so please come back if you are up to it. You can be great help to others.

Take care
Diane

Karen,

It doesn't take this cancer long to claim something so valuable. Your words are so true and it sounds like you will make the best of this life experience.

Karen,
Your dad will have passed on secure in the love and care of his wonderful compassionate daughter--and you're right, it does show us all the best (and sometimes worst) in other people.
You will have your memories of your strong, caring, appreciative dad and these will help you with your grief.
Take some time now to be kind to yourself and remeber all the good you've done, thinking of you with so much sympathy,
Brenda

Karen, know that your dad's spirit will live on in your heart and in your memories. This time of intense grief will pass and your life will be different, but in a wonderful way your dad will always be a part of it through you.

Karen - I am so sorry for your loss. You really have inspired many of us throughout this journey. The love and caring that was evident between the two of you was so special to see. I am sure your Dad's spirit is close to you now and he has his arms around you. I hope that you and your family will the peace and comfort in the days ahead that you so deserve. Please keep in touch whenever you can and let us know how you are doing.

Dear Karen,

I am so heartfully sorry for your loss. I too, was very close to my Dad. When he died nine days after a massive coronary, I was temporarily stunned. Frozen in time and space. That was his third and final heart attack. I had lost my best friend. But Aunt Rosemary's death from this disease has taught me something very important. Knowing what she was going through, seeing what she was going through...... if they can't come back from the battle, it's better for them to go home and be at peace. Now he is truly able to watch over you again, just as he did his whole life. Just in a different way.

He is with you. He will always be with you.

Hugs,
Lisa

Karen,

I have also been following your journey and rooting for your Dad's recovery. I'm sure that your Dad was very proud to have you for his daughter and advocate. And yes...SB is a great town....

Best Regards,
Rob

Thank you all so much for all of your kind words.
I know that you too have loved and lost and I am sorry for that.

God saw you getting tired, He did what he thought best; He put His arms
around you, And said, "Come and rest." He opened up His golden
gates, On that heartbreaking day; And with His arms around you, You
gently slipped away. It broke our hearts to lose you, You did not go
alone; A part of us went with you, The day God called you home.

Hi Karen, My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family during this difficult time. Thank you for sharing yourself and your father with us.

Hugs,
Joy

Karen

I had been wondering about you , and I am so sorry to hear about your dad..he was such a lucky man to have a wonderful daughter such as yourself and you in turn were lucky to have such a wondeful dad. May you find comfort in the fact that you did everything above and beyond , and that he no longer suffers. He has taught you to be such a compassionate woman. there was a poem that was read at my grandmothers funeral that has touched me and stayed with me ..

http://www.lindaslyrics.com/The%20Dash%20Poem.html


I tried to copy and paste and it wouldnt let me so there is the site . My heart and thoughts are with you .

Shar

Karen: What an incredible inspiration you have been for me and, I'm sure, many other posters here! Although I cry at your loss, I'm sure that the precious memories of the times you shared with your father will be forever emblazoned in your mind and in your heart. May God grant you the strength you will need to endure this journey without him. I know that your father is extremely proud of you! Lois in NC

Karen i am sorry to have taken so long to respond to you news

i hope that you too find peace

love liz

Karen,
I too am so sorry it took me so long to respond. I have been away. You did everything you could. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

Take care,
Eileen

Karen,

I am so sorry for your loss. I have followed your journey. You ARE such an inspiration for us all. You and your family are in our prayers.

Lots of love,
Amy C. and Garron

Karen,
Hello. I lost my Daddy very recently so I truly understand how you feel. I hope that you are learning to deal with this lost one day at a time. It TRULY takes that.

I am still in the anger, depression, denial stages myself. One day I feel better, a day like today (Sunday...otherwise known as Daddy Day) I cannot get myself off of the sofa and put on clothes.

All I can say is I hope for you, this will get easier to understand and deal with. You are in my prayers!!

Sincerely,
Monica