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Joined: Apr 2005
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JAM Offline
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Paul, we experienced some of the same and my heart goes out to you. The reality is that dealing with this takes courage, love and some form of faith that many people in the "civilized world of hospitals, nursing homes, etc." will never have to come face to face with. Wish I could be there to help nurse or just hold your hand. Amy in the Ozarks


CGtoJohn:SCC Flr of Mouth.Dx 3\05. Surg.4\05.T3NOMO.IMRTx30. Recur Dx 1\06.Surg 2\06. Chemo: 4 Cycles of Carbo\Taxol:on Erbitux for 7 mo. Lost our battle 2-23-07- But not the will to fight this disease

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Paul, it's a very tough situation but your family has been so together thru this. Hang in there and keep making those memories. Regards JoAnne


JoAnne - Caregiver to husband, cancer rt. tonsil, mets to soft palate, BOT, 7 lymph nodes - T3N2BM0, stage 4. Robotic assisted surgery, radical neck dissection 2/06; 30 IMTX treatments and 4 cycles of cisplatin completed June 06.
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"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
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Paul


So sorry to hear all that is going on , But Happy Birthday to MOM !! AND Congrats on the BABY !! Can I ask a personal question and maybe the answer is here and I dont remember ,,What is mom 1st name ? Just that when I pray I want to use her name. my hugs and thoughts are with you all tonight !

Shar


Sharlee
35 year old Female Non smoker, very occasional alcohol ..Scc T1N0M0,partial glossectomy and left neck disection ,2/9/07 No rad deemed ness. 4/16 tonsillectomy ..Trimengenial Neuralga due to surgery
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 36
Paul R Offline OP
Contributing Member (25+ posts)
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 36
Hi Sharlee,

Mom's first name is Kathleen...

Thanks in advance for those prayers...

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 36
Paul R Offline OP
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Mom is still with us and hanging on to her routine as best she can. No longer able to leave the apartment (legs too weak to handle the stairs) she continues to push forward holding on to her now limited independence.

All of her symptoms are still there (some are getting worse)... The tumor pushing out her neck now appears as a puss sore that will not heal. She is having more difficulty swallowing and is still experiencing the nasal exit problem whenever she drinks any liquids or foods that are in semi liquid form.

But, the main difficulty she is having is keeping up enough intake to maintain her strength and body weight. I have no idea how she is still able to stand and walk (she is now 72 pounds).

Its only a matter of time... She gave up driving the car over a month ago (thank God!!!)... And, she asked that my sister take the cat on Monday because she is having difficulty feeding him in the morning (the mornings are the worst for her). She has for the last few days started to get out the boxes for her lifetime collection of Wedgwood china (many of them given to her over the years by all of her kids). The boxes are sitting there neatly stacked on her dresser. It's has if she is preparing the final closure of the apartment contents post her death.

I remember this time with my dad... I am ready to say goodbye... I just want her to be at peace.

Thanks,
Paul

Joined: Apr 2005
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JAM Offline
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Paul, your Mom is doing this the right way! What a strong woman she is, and how lucky to have youall there with her.I don't say this lightly because I know so many people who are alone in nursing homes and hospital facilities. Prayers to your family. Amy in the Ozarks


CGtoJohn:SCC Flr of Mouth.Dx 3\05. Surg.4\05.T3NOMO.IMRTx30. Recur Dx 1\06.Surg 2\06. Chemo: 4 Cycles of Carbo\Taxol:on Erbitux for 7 mo. Lost our battle 2-23-07- But not the will to fight this disease

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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 525
"Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
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Hello Paul

Amy's above post captured all my thoughts and feelings.

God Bless You.

Your family is in my prayers.

Petey


DX 3-21-07 L tongue,SCC Stage IV (T3N2MO) TX Slash/Burn/Poison Method.
***Rapid Aggressive Recurrence 8-4-07 with same DX/TX. Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. Never Give Up! ****UPDATE**** Our dear friend Petey passed away, RIP 9-2-07
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Posts: 75
Hello,
I want to let you know how brave I think(you)and your mother are. This is not an easy decision to make by any means. I lost my father last week(cancer of tounge, roof, jaw, lung). He found out one year ago that he had cancer. He didn't feel sick. He was 56. He chose to fight his heart out. He had two horrible surgeries, chemo, radiation, immunotherapy, and had to recover from all of that and multiple infections- on top of having cancer. After doing all of that his quality of life was something I wouldn't wish on my worst ememy. He also had the emotional stress of wondering if is this going to work, will I be cured. He was let down everytime. His body mutalated. Had he had known what a mess this all would have been, I can say in my heart he would had done what your mom is doing.Enjoy his life. He was not a big pain med guy either, but he got with that program real quick. I wish he would not of had the surgeries and just got some comfort care. You can't ever say what is right for the next guy or what will work. I don't even know if the doctors are ever really sure, they even tell you that. I guess this is all part of the bigger picture and we all have are journies to go on. I wish your mother the best. I hope she is pain free. I want her to be happy in her heart and that will help you a lot with whatever she chooses to do. Good luck and make every second count.


karen and dad
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Hi Paul, It sounds like things are winding down. What a long journey you've all had. Please let me know if there's anytyhing you need. Regards JoAnne


JoAnne - Caregiver to husband, cancer rt. tonsil, mets to soft palate, BOT, 7 lymph nodes - T3N2BM0, stage 4. Robotic assisted surgery, radical neck dissection 2/06; 30 IMTX treatments and 4 cycles of cisplatin completed June 06.
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 68
Supporting Member (50+ posts)
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you must have a very strong mother,because i could not take all the pain.i am praying for your mother and you and you will be in my thoughts every day.please keep us posted.
your friend
lynn


linda anderson
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