Hello All,

I haven't been on the site for quite awhile,my computer system crashed and I had to purchase a different one.All has not been well with Joe,I think the last time I wrote was when they found the tumor in his jaw.Well a subsequent PET scan showed mets to his liver,kidney lungs and spine.All of the radiation and chemo have been called off.They have deemed his completely terminal now.The amazing thing is that he feels fine.He is very tired but is doing well.They have given him about 6 months.They said the cancer is just to far gone.The PET scan he had done right before his surgery didn't show all of this.There were some questionable areas but not to this extreme.They said this scan just lit up like a christmas tree.So we're just taking one day at a time.He isn't in any pain right now and he's eating well.They promised that they'll keep him comfortable.He seems to handling it all very well,and he's spending time with his family.

I wanted to pass along this story to all of you:

When we were told about his prognosis I went crazy trying to figure out what to do next.I had no access to the internet and I had already talked to his doctors.In a previous post, Brian quoted an emedicine article written by Dr.Bobby Collins about oral malignant melanoma.I deceided I was going to try to contact him at the University of Pittsburgh.Well I got through to him and he was gracious enough to answer all my questions and he stayed on the phone for 45 minutes.I faxed him alot of his test results and he said he would consult with a few of his collegues and get back to me.He returned my call 2 days later and assured me that his doctors are doing what they can.The reason I'm writing this is to show that there are some doctors out there that really do care.I contacted this doctor from an internet article and he took his time and effort to help me even though Joe was not his patient nor was he receiving a fee.He has restored my faith in the medical field.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season.
Patty

Patty,

I am so sorry to hear about Joe. It was good of you to post and update us and it is good to hear (the tone) of your email that he seems to be handling this very well.

You also seem to have your head in a good place with everything happening. Please know that there are a whole bunch of people that will be here if you need us. I'm sure we all only wish we could do more.

Or thoughts and prayers are with you.
Dinah

Hi Patty,

I'm sorry to hear about Joe's status.
I can't express in words how I feel for you and your family. I will be praying for both of you.

Best wishes, Daniel

Hi Patty

I'm sorry about your news. You and Joe both seem to have a positive attitude.Try to keep it and enjoy every good moments you may have. Take Care
Diane

Dear Patti,
My prayers go out to you and Joe and your family at this difficulet time.
Thank you for sharing with us and know that we are all in your corner.
God bless you
Judy U

Thank you all for your good wishes.I've come to the conclusion, that we're both handling it so well, because even though the cancer is all over his body he really isn't feeling ill.He is tired but is still quite functional.I'm pretty sure once this gets to the point that he is gravely ill I won't be so brave anymore.

Hi Patty,
I too am so sorry to hear about Joe. Please take care of yourselves and know that we are all here for you. I was so pleased to hear about Dr. Collins being of assistance. You're absolutey right about the comforting feeling one gets from knowing there are doctors out there who will help even when they're not involved with a patient's care. Warm regards,
Didier

Patty,

I think you under-estimate yourself. I can tell from your posts how much you and your family love
Joe. Believe me when I say you will find that you are stronger than you think. As Joe's condition worsens, your love will give you the strength to be brave. You will do things you never imagined yourself capable of.

I have absolutely no medical background, yet I cared for Heather at home for almost 4 months. I did everything from cleaning fistulas to giving Heather daily injections in her abdomen. And believe me, that was scary! Jabbing a needle in someone's stomach is not my idea of fun, but I did what I had to do. And you will, too.

Whether Joe is cared for at home or in a hospital or hospice setting, you will find the strength to do what is necessary. I can tell from your posts that you are a strong, sensitive and intelligent person and I know that you will do just fine.

Rainbows & hugs,
Rosie

Dear Patty,

I've read your post over and over tonight. I've been where you are, and I want you to know that you aren't alone. I know people will say that they know how you feel, but I honestly do.

My mother went into the hospital for a suspected kidney/bladder infection. She was diagnosed with liver and pancreas cancer instead. She was gone in twelve days.

Please take the time that you have and use it expressing anything to Dan that you haven't already.....whether positive or negative. Throw your feet up on the foot of his bed and talk to him like you always did before this horrible time. I'm so thankful that I was able to share Mom's last days in a normal way. She knew........we knew.......we all knew what was going to happen in the long-run, but we were able to laugh and enjoy each other to the end.

You have so much courage and strength. It seeps out of your postings. Stay strong for both of you, but please turn back to your friends here, when you need us.

Love you,
Mandi