Hi everyone,my name's Greg.First I must say how thankful I am for this site. I've found so much comfort and understanding from reading the many post.I put my first post back in April under survivor stories (accidental) my wife corrected me but I didn't know how to move it.My surgery is set for May 20, check in on 19.Needless to say I so nervous I can't think strait.Doctor says he'll be doing a radical forearm flap, pull all my teeth(cause of radiation), says there's 20% chance that he'll have to cut and replace jawbone, he's hopeing its not too deep that He can shave it off. Also a small portion of tongue(hopefully), the cancer is in the front of my jaw behind my teeth.And also the removal of the 2 lymps. I guess I really won't know till after surgery if there's more.I've got so many worries that I can't even begin to list them. I'm a smoker and recovering alcoholic. I was a drinking chronicly until the age of 32 ( DTs, seizures, rehabs, nearly died more than once from seizures). I'm now 43 and sober for 11 yrs.My family thought I would never find the power to stop drinking.But through God I found that strenght.As scary as this cancer is, it doesn't scare me as much as the fear that I had when I couldn't stop drinking.One of the things that I have always worried is that my alcohlic background would someday lead to health problems.But today with my relationship with Christ, I feel that this will allow me to grow spirtualy, at least that is my prayer. I always wondered if I was faced with something really bad would I drink? I thank God that I have not had any desire to drink since I found out about my cancer.My main concern is my wife and mother, their taking it preaty hard.I've been married 9 yrs (only one wife) with 3 step children ages 20,17&12 and 2 grandchidren.I am the sole provider as well as look after my single mom who lives next door.My questions are how long is recovery, will I be able to go back to work, I just planted my very large garden, will I be able to tend it? Well I just don't know what else to say.Just pray for me and my wife (cindyE she also post here) and thank you all for being here.My thoughts and prayers Greg

Greg,

I wish I had all the right words to say.

Your attitude is really good and will help you to get through this. Everyone recovers from the treatments differently. Be cautious about reading some of the posts here because they can be more fuel to the fear fire. It is a wonderful resource and we will help you as much as possible!

Right now big hugs and little steps are the thing for you. Trust your doctors and remember we have been there and made it. This time of waiting is the worst. You are familiar with the day-at-a-time concept, well take this thing one minute at a time. Don't worry about the next 60 seconds they aren't here yet.

Yes you should be able to work again. But don't worry about how soon. It could be a few weeks or it might be longer. Having your garden and tending it will be theraputic.

This is an event that is hard on the whole family and at the same time will cause many wonderful things to happen. (yes I mean it!) You are a spirtual person, tune into that and you will be amazed as you go through.


You have made spectacular turn-arounds in your life. Keep up the good work. Ask for help.

PS Ask your doctor about the teeth again.

Hi Graywolf, I don't know much about the seriousness of your cancer and the intensity of the treatment. For me a stage 4 cancer patient being treated with radiation and chemotherapy concurrently managed to resume my full time job six months post treatment. Before that I have thought of an early retirement but that decision didn't make me feel any better and led me to depression. What I thought I could never do at that time can be done today. So things can certainly turn better. Take care.

Karen stage 4 tonsil cancer diagnosed in 9/01.

Hang in there Graywolf,
I'm in the program too and it has really helped me to get through this. I also found the Lord in 1991 and that has helped me get through the rest of life that AA doesn't cover. Allow your friends at church to help you. You'll be giving them the bigger gift. We "breadwinners" are a proud bunch and oftentimes won't ask for help. Cancer has helped me to break down many of those walls and strongholds in my life. My wife and I will keep you and your family in our prayers.

Gary

SCC, Stage III, right tonsil

I expect you and your family will cry together, wipe away the tears and go on together. People will hurt for you and you may see a tear when they think you don't see, but this is one time when a good cry is okay when you need it. Try to be a good patient and let folks help you, I even let someone work on my lawnmower for me while I was down. It takes away the helplessness your church family and friends feel by not being able to do anything. Let them help you. You would do it for them. I would make a list, not a list of demands but just a 'if you want to' list like tending your garden. That ain't work, that's fun.
"We know what God will do in the future because of what He has done in the past." He has always brought his people through the fire.

Very nicely said Milton. Graywolf, you are going through so much right now - physically and emotionally, and so is your family. I know from a caretaker's point of view, how hard it is to absorb all this and please know that you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I am a spiritual person too, and I know what the power of prayer can do - so please rely on your faith as a source of strength to help get you through. I firmly believe you will one day go back to work too - but this can be awhile yet. As folks have mentioned - everyone is different, and everyone heals at different rates. But I LOVE gardening as you do, and I also think this will be very therapeutic for you. Just keep doing what you love to do, and don't overwork yourself too much either, and before long you will have all this past you. Take care and God bless.

Greg, Aug 9 is 12 years for me and I agree that getting sober was great practice for getting my mind's hands around cancer.

I am real lucky in that my cancer was spotted early and the surgery was sorta easy. It wouldn't have been had I not sought out several opinions from different doctors/organizations because I almost resolved to go with the first one, just to put it behind me. It would have been a big-O mistake.

Recover is as fast as mind and body work together. Pushing it might hurt, I suspect. I was prepared for several months, but managed short days after three weeks and didn't push myself at all. Your milage may vary.

Anyway, the support here is great. You're among friends and associates who have similar experiences to share. Sounds familiar, huh.