| | Joined: Dec 2009 Posts: 108 Senior Member (100+ posts) | OP  Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Dec 2009 Posts: 108 | Carol, my best friend and partner of 25+ years, died peacefully at home, March 29, 2011. She was a fighter and fought until her very last shallow breath. A person who was liked by everyone she met, young and old; never complained, never asked for anything; loved animals, rescued a few; loved the outdoors; one hell of a cook; lived life her way. I will miss her deeply. This home (now just a shell of a house) is very, very empty without her. Even though Carol is gone I find myself listening for her voice, any movement she makes, checking the time for the next dose, poking my head into the bedroom and realize she's not there. I fall asleep with the tv on in the bedroom and when I get up after not being able to sleep, I leave the tv on. I've misplaced a few things since her passing and I want to call out to her to help me find them. The inside of the car even feels empty.
The last few days of her life she would abruptly sit up in bed saying she couldn't breathe. The night before she died, she got up, came into the living and watched tv with me and we talked. It was very difficult for me to understand her, but we talked, about nothing in particular, the dumb commercial, if the animals were in the house, things along that nature. The next morning Carol was unresponsive, the hospice nurse came and told me her body was shutting down, but couldn't say when. I called her family with the update and just a few short hours later I had to call her family again telling them she died. I felt guilty because I had to call twice in one day. It seemed as if she was waiting for me to call everyone, knowing for an absolute certainty I would take care of her and her choice of me 25 years ago was right. It was an eerie feeling.
Her spirit is now free. Free of the pain, free of the medications, free of the feeding tube, free of the doctor visits, free of her suffering.
Linda
CG/Carol 57;SCC Stage IV L Tonsil T4N2bM0 12/2009
Recur 7/2010 - 2cm mass Invasive SCC L Floor Lower Jaw
Surgery 8/10 - Trach,ND,p. mandibulectomy,pec flap
ypT4aN0 HG Mucoepidermoid carcinoma
2nd Recur 1/18/11 - Tumor lower left lip
Surgery 2/9/11 - Canceled - Inoperable
3/29/11 - Died
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 |
David
Age 58 at Dx, HPV16+ SCC, Stage IV BOT+2 nodes, non smoker, casual drinker, exercise nut, Cisplatin x 3 & concurrent IMRT x 35,(70 Gy), no surgery, no Peg, Tx at Moffitt over Aug 06. Jun 07, back to riding my bike 100 miles a wk. Now doing 12 Spin classes and 60 outdoor miles per wk. Nov 13 completed Hilly Century ride for Cancer, 104 miles, 1st Place in my age group. Apr 2014 & 15, Spun for 9 straight hrs to raise $$ for YMCA's Livestrong Program. Certified Spin Instructor Jun 2014.
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2009 Posts: 440 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2009 Posts: 440 | I'm so sorry! My prayers are with you during this difficult time!
Dx 3/27/09 @ 28 years old with High Grade MEC T4N2M0
Elizabeth, 33, mother of 3 girls (4,7, &8yrs old)
3 rds of chemo(Carbo/Taxol)
Rt Mandibulectomy, rt fibular flap,& rt ND with trach, picc,& g-tube.
30 rds of rads with weekly cisplatin
SCANS ALL CLEAR!
OCF Regional Coordinator of San Antonio Walk
| | | | | Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 329 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 329 | I'm very sorry my thoughts and prayers are with you.
You did everything you could for her.
Connie
SCC. of the left lateral tongue, anterior two thirds, T1 possibly a T2.
Left partial glossectomy, left selective neck dissection 4/21/09. Nodes clean, No Rad, No Chemo.
CT Scan 9/11 clean, CT Scan 9/12 clean
Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa, FL. A+.
My hometown Lockport, NY.
| | | | | Joined: Mar 2011 Posts: 130 Likes: 3 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Mar 2011 Posts: 130 Likes: 3 | I'm sorry for your loss Linda. Please rest assured that Carol is in heaven now. You're right, she is at peace. She is also watching over you and always will be. Maybe she's watching over all of us. I could certainly use an angel in my corner as I am at the begining of my fight. Both of you are in my thoughts and prayres. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you get through this difficult time. Will Zinn
Lump in left side neck discovered Sept 2009
Misdiagnosed & FNA inconclusive
Large lymph node removed Nov. 2010 SCC and HPV16 pos
PET pointed tonsilectomy Feb. 2011
1ml tumor left side tonsil
Rads scheduled March 14th 2011. 2X36 GY's (72)
CarboTaxol once a week X 4 or 5 starting 4/5/11
No PEG
| | | | | Joined: Feb 2011 Posts: 117 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2011 Posts: 117 | Linda: Very sorry to hear of your loss. You took such good care of her, she will now be your angel looking out for you the rest of your life. May your memories of happier days give you peace at this difficult time.
Ingrid K.
DX 12/6/10 of T3 SCC Tongue.
Surgery 1/3/11 was hemigloss & forearm free flap, midline mandibulectomy, Neck Disection-All nodes clear.
Ended rads 5/11/11. Taste buds back to about 80%. PEG removed 4/5/12, experimenting eating real food again. If I can do this, so can you !! Stay Strong.
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 | Linda, I am so very sorry that Carol has passed away. She had such a long battle. It seemed every time she got ahead she had another set back. There was so much love between the 2 of you. Most people can live 2 lifetimes and never get to experience anything even close. You did a wonderful job being her caregiver. I hope that in time the happy memories will allow you to feel some comfort. Thank you for letting us know. We were with you in spirit every step of the way.
ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive  | | | | | Joined: Apr 2010 Posts: 24 Member | | Member
Joined: Apr 2010 Posts: 24 | Linda,
I'm so sorry for your loss.. You will be in my thoughts and prayer's.
Tommy
Initial Staging T1N0M0
Invasive SCC of the R Lateral tongue
Moderately Differentiated
Evidence of Perinureal Invasion
Depth > 3 cm
Diag on: 03/25/2010
Partial Glossectomy and Modified Neck Disscection on 04/21/2010
Clear Margins/No Radiation or Chemo
Age 40
Former Smoker Quit 1/03/2010
| | | | | Joined: Jan 2011 Posts: 25 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | | Contributing Member (25+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2011 Posts: 25 | Linda,
My heart aches for you and I am terribly sorry for your loss.
Yvonne
Age 35
Superficial SCC lateral tongue
HPV(-), nonsmoker
Right lateral tongue resection 1/17/11 w/ Alloderm Graft
Proud mother of 2
Enjoy walking/aerobic kickboxing
Pittsburgh Steelers Fan! (#86)
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 701 Likes: 1 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 701 Likes: 1 | Dear Linda,
I am so very sorry to read your sad news. What a kind and loving partner you were to Carol. She sure had a rough time with OC. And as her caregiver, I know it was very difficult for you as well. I hope you can surround yourself with friends and family to help you as you mourn your profound loss. My heart breaks for you--
Anita
Anita (68)
CG to husband, Clark, 79,
DX SCC 11/07, T4N0Mx, PEG 1/08, RAD, post rad infection 3/08,
HBOT 40 dives, ORN, Surg 11/09 mandibulectomy w/fibular graft.
Plastic Surg 4/10, 12/10, 3/11, 10/11, 4/12, 10/12. All PETS clear,
PEG out 1/11. 6/11 non union jaw fracture
Fractured jaw w/surgery 7/14
Aspiration pneumonia 7/21, 10/22
PEG 7/21
Botox injections
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