Matt is home from surgery. Stronger. Back to trying to take care of everyone. He can put on the strongest front while I can barely get out of bed to go to work.
Tonight he's playing some Garth Brooks in the guest room. The Dance comes on and I am crying my eyes out. I went to him and he held me and we danced while I cried. I told him I'm scared. Tomorrow we see the oncologist to find out how bad the bone met. is. He tells me that he is sad too. Says that he'd stick around and haunt me but he didn't think that would be too pleasant for me. I told him I wished better for him than that. Then he apologizes for the song and changed it to more upbeat music and acts like nothing ever happened.
While I am happy that he seems to have found a "happy place" in all of this... but where is mine?

Oh CM - I wish I could give you a hug right now. Treasure the special moments you have with each other. Not everyone is lucky enough to have such a precious connection with another human being. Matt's "happy place" is surely because of you and what you mean to him.

I have to agree with Anne-Marie. I too was the one who was upset seemingly more than my husband. If I could go back, I would slow down and fully treasure the happy times we had. I think I was too busy worried about my future and that of my kids. Worry doesn't solve a darn thing and just may keep you from truly engaging in the moment. Savor the happy times-they will live on in your memory long after the worry has passed.