| | Joined: May 2010 Posts: 638 "OCF Down Under" "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) |  "OCF Down Under" "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: May 2010 Posts: 638 | Charm (and Minh)\
Interesting that the two miracles Mary MacKillop is attributed with in order to achieve sainthood were cancer cures.
Karen
Karen Love of Life to Alex T4N2M0 SCC Tonsil, BOT, R lymph nodes Dx March 2010 51yrs. Unresectable. HPV+ve Tx Chemo x 3+1 cycles(cisplatin,docetaxel,5FU)- complete May 31 Chemoradiation (IMRTx35 + weekly cisplatin) Finish Aug 27 Return to work 2 years on 3 years out Aug 27 2013 NED  Still underweight
| | | | | Joined: Aug 2010 Posts: 157 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2010 Posts: 157 | Definately minh,
I was in your position mentally for numerous reasons the past few nights and like others have suggested I just find something else to do. I get to go make my halloween mask tomorrow morning!! Last night I was horrified about beginning my radio therapy and chemo very soon and then I just said ( after a long venting here and a few great comments) to hell with it! Lets make my halloween mask, ask a bunch of questions inserted in between my annoying questions and we can make a day of it. I just heard that today too, one day and one hour at a time right? Sometimes I screw with the doctors, my mom hates it and so does the fiancee but I get a kick out of it. Why do they get to ask all the personal questions? I guess my way of doing this when I dont fall into a dark time is the humor, or I watch swamp people!
I need ya minh, and I need all of ya!
Your friend
Nathan
SCC left lateral tongue, left neck dissection. 2 nodes positive. 3 All Clear then ITS BACK 8/23/11 Shows 1cm in tongue in CT SCAN, Radial Free Arm Flap with Radical Neck Dissection 9/20/11 , All Nodes Negative, But Tongue Tumor Poorly Differentiated. Awaiting next step in treatment on 10/5/11... RIP Nate 7/28/12
| | | | | Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 | Minh,
I'm one of those people that believe that nothing should be taken off the table when it comes to getting through this. With that said, I don't believe that antidepressants are the answer without a therapist and counselling.
You are "just" out of treatment, give yourself some time to recover. I'm over 2 years out of rads/chemo and my 1st surgery and I still struggle....but it's gotten better, now I think I'm too active. It's OK to realize how much the hand you were dealt sucks, if you didn't I would really worry about your mental health. I've never known dellusional to turn out well. Sometimes we discount what we've been through because others have gone through worse...but it's all relative.
I do look to others on these boards that have gone through more then I and they inspire me and give me hope. They do not take away what I've been through however. Listening to their stories and reading books like "Mans Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankle gives me perspective and examples of how to keep on going when things are tough and I want to feel sorry for myself.
It's OK to feel that loss, just don't stay there. Bask in the moments with your kids...my boys and my wife are the "why" in the quote in my signature.
Keep your chin up
Eric
Young Frack, SCC T4N2M0, Cisplatin,35+ rads,ND, RT Mandiblectomy w fibular free flap, facial paralysis, "He who has a "why" to live can bear with almost any "how"." -Nietzche "WARNING" PG-13 due to Sarcasm & WAY too much attitude, interact at your own risk.
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 | Nathan - I love the last line of your post! We need you, too. We all need each other and that's why it's so great to be here. Like you, my son used to "screw with the doctors" -and the nurses or anyone around. He would wear T-shirts with funny sayings on them like "I have no idea what's going on" or "I'm not a doctor but I will be glad to examine you." The routine of going to Tx each day brought a certain measure of comfort or control in knowing what was going to happen. Talking to other people in the waiting room helped - one of them told me about OCF! One day a beautiful dog came to visit and was so very calming. And there was the "Cookie" Lady who always asked every one if they wanted a cookie. Of course most of the patients there couldn't dream of being able to swallow or chew on a cookie but the CG's liked them and it's the thought that counts, right?
Last edited by Anne-Marie; 10-19-2010 03:35 AM. Reason: typo on the word "typo"!:!
Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)
| | | | | Joined: Jul 2008 Posts: 507 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2008 Posts: 507 | I really loved the Cancer Center's dogs and admire the volunteer canine corp that share their wonderful pets. For some reason they never brought them back to the RT vaults waiting room, but on my worst day in the infusion center there was a wonder Labrador that came over and made my day! Re-hydrated my body and soul
Don
TXN2bM0 Stage IVa SCC-Occult Primary
FNA 6/6/08-SCC in node<2cm
PET/CT 6/19/08-SCC in 2nd node<1cm
HiRes CT 6/21/08
Exploratory,Tonsillectomy(benign),Right SND 6/23/08
PEG 7/3/08-11/6/08
35 TomoTherapy 7/16/08-9/04/08 No Chemo
Clear PET/CT 11/15/08, 5/15/09, 5/28/10, 7/8/11
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 177 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 177 | Minh, I so know how you feel. Sometimes it all seems so difficult. Time will pass, you will slowly begin to feel better. I kept waiting to one day just wake up and be cured. That never happened, it is a 2 steps forward, 1 step back kinda thing. Below is a post that I posted in June, I was right about where your at now. Things are slowly getting better. Take Care and yell if you need to. Lottsa love on this site, we are here for you. http://oralcancersupport.org/forums...;Main=10474&Number=117749#Post117749Wendy
Wendy
46yrs@ DX 9/16/09 T1N0 SCC of leftlat tongue, poorly differentiated.Partial glosectomy 10/01/09 & 10/16/09 & 11/10/09 60-70% tongue removed, Radical fff, 38 nodes-clear, no rads/chemo. 3 petscans-clear
| | | | | Joined: Aug 2010 Posts: 157 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2010 Posts: 157 | Anne-Marie,
Ya should have seen them today when I jacked with em, I dont think they like me much sometimes but I was half joking and half being serious. When they pushed my treatment back some more I bluntly said " Well, should I go home and get a head start by shoving my face inside the microwave?!?" then there were crickets and my moms angry stare, and my fiancee's small chuckle : ) . Oh well, more waiting and I hope its for the best...Hope youre doing good Minh, I was thinking about ya today!
Your Friend,
Nathan
SCC left lateral tongue, left neck dissection. 2 nodes positive. 3 All Clear then ITS BACK 8/23/11 Shows 1cm in tongue in CT SCAN, Radial Free Arm Flap with Radical Neck Dissection 9/20/11 , All Nodes Negative, But Tongue Tumor Poorly Differentiated. Awaiting next step in treatment on 10/5/11... RIP Nate 7/28/12
| | | | | Joined: Apr 2010 Posts: 201 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2010 Posts: 201 | LMAO Nate!! That was a good one. Some people just don't understand the dry humor. Me on the other hand is famous for having it. Keeps me sane sometimes.
CG to Sister (42). Smoker quit @ diagnosis Dx 4/20/10 SCC T2N0M0, Rside of tongue Hemigloss R neck dis, all nodes removed 6/2/10, Trach and NG in, home 6/8/10,8/18/2010 start erbitux x6, 30 IMRT end 10/11/10 with only 3x erbitux due to reaction and one week off of rads
1/10/2011 Clear PET!!!
| | | | | Joined: May 2008 Posts: 357 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: May 2008 Posts: 357 |
Marginal mandibulectomy 6/17/08 resulted in DX of Stage I SCC - gingiva (3 mm) right mandible, buccal side. Clear margins. Occasional social drinker. Smoked last cigarette in 1979. Clear pet: 12/08; 7/20/09. Yay!
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 |
Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)
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