Liz
I know what heartache you are going through I lost my dear Brian 2 weeks ago. He died at home with his family around him, We had hospice with us which was a great comfort. Please know that I am praying for you on this last part of this journey. The most important thing is he is at home with you. That was Brians wish also, to be out of the hospital and die at home. Peace be with you. God will give you strength.
B

Liz: I wish there was something I could say that would cause you to feel better....both of you are in my thoughts and prayers...may God strengthen you during this transition......

Liz, my prayers are with you.

God Bless you both.

LisaB

Dear Liz,

My heart has been feeling so heavy since I read your e-mail yesterday.

I wish I could help you in some way or write something profoundly wonderful. I am at a loss.

I hope you can feel the love and hugs I am sending through the Internet to you and Robin during this unimaginably difficult time.

Love,

Margaret

I am having a very difficult time with the visting thing.People dont seem to understand that when rob and i go to yorkshire he literally doesnt want them to come visit.He wants to say goodbye this week and then just be alone with me.His brother and his sister want to drive up at weekends to visit and his sister wants to come and stay but he doesnt want that and i dont know how to deal with this diplomatically.

They are all hurting so badly and as you all know rob is not good at the emotion thing and at the end of the day his wishes must be respected i think.This is a very dangerous minefield and the last thing i want is for Robs passing to be marred by sibling in fighting.

Dear Liz,
You have beena reat trooper thru all this, know that you and Rob fought the good fight, you both are in my prayers. Bob

Liz,

My thoughts are with you. You have been the best caregiver to Rob.
I am so sorry that the cancer has come back and that you both have had such a difficult journey. Rob knows that you love him,have put him above all others and that you are completing this journey by his side.
Paula

Hi Liz, I just read your post and feel so badly that you and Rob are going thru this. What I have seen from your posts is that you are strong, caring person, and you will find the strength to deal with this just as you have all the other ups and downs you've faced in the past 5 months.

Go with your gut and your heart on deciding what to do about anything. It's clear that Rob is finding a sense of dignity and peace and that he wants to die in his own home with the person he feels the strongest connection to - you. The fact that he has made his will, is saying goodbye to family, and has strong feelings about where and with whom his death will occur is an indication that he knows what is happening and he's trying to accept it.

Hospice or palliative care is about keeping people comfortable and managing symptoms. Some people like to have conversations about dying, and others - particularly those with issues expressing their emotions - may just want you to be with them. There aren't always words, our feelings are expressed in looks, gestures, or sometimes just that long overdue thank you.

It's clear that you and Rob love each other, and that's what I'd focus on. The rest of it doesn't matter anymore. Tell him you love him, hold his hand, and take your cue from how he is feeling.

You are right that his wishes need to be respected. Tell the family that you will call them if Rob changes his mind and that you will give them updates. Beyond that if he doesn't want visitors people should respect it. Just as when he was in treatment, you are the gatekeeper again. The siblings are not your concern right now. They will either understand or not, but your concern is being there for Rob and yourself. He may feel differently about visitors as time goes on. It may as simple as it's too hard for Rob to have them there or to keep talking about it. At some point, it is what it is and there's nothing to say.

I sincerely hope that his passing is peaceful. Are they sending a visiting nurse out to check on him and help you with pain control etc?

My thoughts will be with you both.
Regards JoAnne

Hello Liz,

i hope that you and Rob find some peace during these trying times. my thoughts and prayers are with you.

thanks for your efforts,
larryb

Dear Liz,
I just read your post last night and am so sad for you and Rob. I hope the final path on this journey if loving and peaceful for the both of you.

Take care,
Eileen