| Joined: Mar 2009 Posts: 48 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | OP Contributing Member (25+ posts) Joined: Mar 2009 Posts: 48 | So it hasnt been quite 3 months since my Mom passed away. The Holidays were her favorite time of year. I just dont know if they will be the same without her! I am the oldest of 3 girls and our plan is to get together and make Thanksgiving the same way my Mom always did. (boy did she love to cook that meal) I just dread the fact that something is going to be missing, a big something! I know there is no better way to honor her memory than to do things the exact way that she did, I just have a sick feeling. I know there are other people that have experienced this same thing-was there anything that you did that helped??
26 Mom 48 diagnosed Sep 08 Stage IV SCC full glossectomy, neck dissection traech and peg Nov 08 35 radiation treatments and 3 chemo Mar 09 mets to lungs Started Erbitux 3/09/09 06/26/09 mets to rib Stopped Erbitux 6/26/09 Start erbitux/taxol 7/06/09 Started Hospice 7/24/09 Passed away 8/09/09
| | | | Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 49 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | Contributing Member (25+ posts) Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 49 | Hi! I haven't posted for awile, but I lost my Dad to NHL two years ago and my Mom to a heart attack 22 years ago. The holidays aren't quite the same but time passing does help if you realize that you are the only one who can truely make your holidays special. I honored my Mom's traditions and still wear an apron on Christmas Day (and Thanksgiving too, this year)that she gave me. My family knew in the early days that I was going to be sad, as they were too, but everyone gave me so much love, that the extent of their love was greater than the loss that I was feeling. Everyone that I know who has lost a parent (especially Mom, who made our holidays special, all deal with it pretty much the same way...remember the traditions. Their legacy will live throughout time.
Donna
Caregiver to Hubby,Stage IVb, SCC to left tonsil, Mets to nodes, Tonsillectomy, Cisplatin,Taxotere,5FU x 3, IMRT 33 Rads + Carbo x 6, RND 03/09--Dx NHLymphoma 04/09, CT of chest, stom, pel--all clear, 05/09 Pet--all clear, 08/09 Pet--all clear
| | | | Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 476 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | Platinum Member (300+ posts) Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 476 | Hi Colleen. It's so good to see you posting again. I have been wondering how you have been. The first year is especially difficult after losing your mom. My mom died on September 28, 2007 from Pancreatic Cancer. My mom was the center of all the holidays and I knew facing Thanksgiving and Christmas after having lost her only 2 months earlier was going to be difficult. What made/has made our situation so difficult is that my dad is angry and bitter over having lost the love of his life. They were married for 56 years and he is sad and lost without her. We try and continue on with the holiday traditions that we had before mom passed away but there is definitely a void without her here.
I feel the best way to honor my mom's memory is to continue on. That is what she would want us to do. It's o.k. to be sad and cry, the first year is very difficult. Take care.
Wanda (47) caregiver to husband John (56) age at diag.(2009) 1-13-09 diagnosed Stage IV BOT SCC (HPV+) 2-12-09 PEG placed, 7-6-09 removed Cisplatin 7 weeks, 7 weeks (35) IMRT 4-15-09 - treatment completed 8-09,12-09-CT Scans clear, 4-10,6-11-PET Scans clear 4-2013 - HBO (30 dives) tooth extraction 10-2019 - tooth extraction, HBO (10 dives) 11-2019 - Left lateral tongue SCC - Stage 2
| | | | Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 148 Likes: 1 Senior Member (100+ posts) | Senior Member (100+ posts) Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 148 Likes: 1 | Hi Donna, Thank you for the wake-up call! My mom DOB 11/27/29 (she will turn 80 this month) My Dad is 80 DOB 4/29/29. Sometimes I get impatient with them, but I love them so! Ever since I was a little girl, my mom, my younger sister & I would spend the Friday after Thanksgiving together. We would go downtown & enjoy shopping & going thru "toyland" in a dept. store. Later we started out on bus tours for the day to outlet malls. Soon our loads of treasures were to large to fit inside the bus, so years following my sister drove instead. Now our own daughters accompany us, we even stay overnight in a hotel! I just can NOT even think about the day when my mom will no longer be there to share in this tradition. My eyes swell at the very thought of it. So thank you Donna for reminding me of how precious our time together is. Eventhough I am a mother, sister, aunt, being a daughter to two of the most adoring parents, gives me a sense security & love like none I have ever known before. The love will go on forever, the memories, our treasures. It is my hope that your holidays will be blessed with more love than your heart can hold. May your own children appreciate the treasure you are. Best of health to all you hold dear (especially your cancer free husband!) God Bless, Dianne
BOT T3N2M0 No surgery, 38radiation treatments,4 chemo rounds, peg removed 11/08, still have a port. Treatments ended 6/20/08. So far, so Good ! "I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much !"
*** Admin update --- Dianne has passed away on August 25, 2015 ***
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