My husband was never one to talk about this stuff but when his scans started going from bad to worse I forced the issue. We went and had BOTH our will made out which is something we should have done when the kids were little. At the same time we had living wills and powers of attorney drawn up as well. These have to be done if Hospice will be involved at some point. It made things so much easier when the time came.

As for final arrangements such as burial and funeral, I brought these up in a casual way. My husband was spritiual but not religious as he had been divorced and was concidered ex-communicated from the RC church. I really had no idea what he wanted and I'm glad I asked. He wanted to have a full funeral service and to be buried in the same Catholic cememtary as his grandparents. I went and purchased a plot about 6 months before he passed. I also pre arranged the wake about 2 weeks prior. A friend of mine who had lost her young husband advised me to do this ahead of time and it was good advice. You will be so scattered when the time comes and knowing thses arrangements have already been made is helpful.

Please feel free to ask me any questions in this regard. I found it to be comforting in a strange way to be able to talk about this as I am a planner and this disease really has no set plan, as we all know. Best wishes for peace for you and your wife.


cg to husband, 48 Stage 1V head and neck SCC. First surgery 9/07. Radiation and several rounds of chemo followed. Mets to chest and lungs. "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." Went home to God on February 22, 2009.