Hello,
It is absolutely normal. I was absolutely exhausted when Martin was at his worst. My firm was really understanding and I was able to work from home most days, so i could look after him. But I also felt I was disturbing him, nagging. Martin it's time to feed. Martin I need to give you some paracetamol through the tube. Martin just sit up a little and you won't get a belly ache. Sweety I need to put your cream on... Louise the dietecian was fantastic and phoned me everyday to find out how Martin was doing. He got so weak and skinny (9 stones, 6ft2), he weighed the same as me, that he slept all of the time and wouldn't have woken up for a feed had I not done it.
It is draining, the hours, the worry, but Martin recently said "I know I don't say it but thanks for looking after me", and that was the nicest thing anyone could have said, it made me feel all emotional. And as I am a bit rubbish with keeping my emotions, all I could say without falling to pieces was "well of course I look after you".
It drains you. But it helps to think that I am helping him, and making him better in my own way.
It gets better, as soon as he put on weight (he's still very thin, but not as skeletal as before), the tube came out and he is slowly slowly getting better.
Just hang on in there. When he feels better we are planning to go somewhere warm with a beach, and just flop and relax, maybe Italy or Greece.
Charles the security guard from Sierra Leone who works in the pound shop said "Cecilia now that the treatment is finished you are his cure, smile, don't ever frown at him and say positive things, hug and cuddle and say:"hey baby, looking good" ".
I think he is right.
To all care givers here good luck and good work. smile


Girlfriend to Martin 49 years old at diagnosis
Diagnosed with SCC unknown primary June 2008.
Cancer found in single node Stage N2A (3 to 6cm).
Tonsilectomy 16th june, Radical modified neck dissection left side 30th june.
30 TX radiotherapy ended 9th October
First comparative study scan came back clear