Blush... thanks David...but seriously I don't think it is girls that just wanna have fun...and like Mark's doctor if your number is up it is up I guess...That is such a sad story but you know what we can all keep warm by fireplaces...or with each other telling stories and making each other laugh and keeping spririts up. Right now I have been given a second chance and I truly really want to LIVE and whatever that consists of I want to experience new feelings see new things. So that is more going with the flow.

I also know the limits that my new normal holds too and know too well that common sence should rule...Smoking despite how much I know it is a huge part of why I am here I stand still addicted and true to the addicts oath Never give up on a good (or what feels like a good) thing. It is months (gosh seems like years) since my last smoke and I still think of them fondly...this is scary but standing true to what I know is good.

But drinking is something I can live without. I just don't like being told on any level I can't have it. That has always made me want things more. Even being diabetic being told you can't or shouldn't have that chocolate bar and my reply has always been your right as I devour it. Rebelleous, crazy or just plain stupid I am not sure just know I want to live and enjoy life's little indulgences...Then there is missletoe hmmmmmm a whole new door lol