Thats messed up...

Here Im worried because if I end up having something I have no significant other to go through it with me, besides my family, AND the girl that I thought would be there... well things didnt turn out...

Alot of people think Im crazy for saying this, and while I am thankful nothing has been found yet in my case, I had it all planned out. I was ready to fight in case something was found, and I was actually quite happy that even if it was my time to go I would have loved someone and had them love me, and otherwise my shot 22 years of life thus far had been productive, enjoyable and very full. Length of life is not so important to me as the quality of it.

And here this man who you have done so much and been there for thanks you like this?? I would agree with oceanangel and suggest counseling, if that doesnt work out, do whats right for yourself and move on, you dont deserve this.

Ian.