Oh Michelle, I am so sorry to hear this. The words ungrateful %$^&*&^ are probably going through your mind. There are probably plenty of 'theories' to explain why he would choose to do this at this time, but at the end of the day I think it hard for any one to really understand why. Even the person who did the leaving. Losing a partner through seperation still involves grieving and that can take some time, quite a long time. My husband of 12 years left my 3 years ago. He explained why, but you know, sometimes I think people make up the story to justify their actions. Oddly enough, he has phoned almost every day to see how I am holding up through the whole having the biopsy, waiting to find out if it was cancer thing. The cynic in me told my Mum that I thought that he was just checking to find out whether he was going to have to take over the rearing of four young children as a sole parent. The kinder, softer part of me said that just because someone doesn't care for someone romantically, they can still care for them as a human being. Take care of yourself. After years of caring for someone else it will be a huge change to have to take care of yourself. counselling may not solve the problem or take away the hurt, but it does provide an opportunity to talk about it as often as you need to with someone who is professionally trained to provide support and guidance and is not emotionally involved like our families and friends are.