Ok Rebecca,

Here is hardball for him. Print this and tell him to read it!!

I am way to familiar with the "tough guy" thing and I am telling you both this story because it matters.

When my husband first noticed the lump in his neck he never said a word. He will tell you that he just thought it was a swollen gland and ignored it. Finally almost 2 months later he asked me to look at it. I felt it and then I told him to call the doctor immediately and make an appointment. I told him to ask if they could fit him in.

He called... they said Monday and he said ok. I blew up.

Monday he goes to the doc and she scares him by basically telling him "Oh Crap"

I thought that would be enough but noooooooo

She sends him to a dime store ENT who does a test and tells him that it isn't cancer and he wants to cut the lumps out. My husband agrees, makes the surgical appointment and comes home to inform me.

Once again I threw a fit. What? No second opinion? Just take him at his word and let him cut you up?

I told him that I wanted him to get a second opinion down in the Medical Center. He refused.
I got angry. He still refused.

Finally I started drafting the divorce papers and I got his attention.

I made the appointment with the second doc. He went and the doc refered him to an awesome ENT.

2 days later the diagnosis came. CANCER.

I was relieved and scared because had I not pushed he might be gone now. Had this doc cut him open he might have caused the cancer to spread.

But his hard head did not stop here. No there were more battles.

The battle to get him to txs. First there was the single tooth that had to be pulled. He was against it. Tried to findevery avenue out of it and the clock was ticking. Couldn't start the txs until the tooth was gone.

I made the appointments... I made him go... he was not happy with me because I was the bad guy.

Finally out with the tooth and in with the port.

Still he was not going to do the txs. He heard stories, listened to the docs and at some point told me that he was just going to let the cancer kill him.

Once again my fire flared. I will be damned if I am going to just sit here and watch you die.

In the car and off to the hospital for the first tx.

Still he would not give.

txs were hard and when he stopped eating he refused the PEG. Once again a bloody battle and I got my way. PEG inserted.

5 rad txs left and he wants to quit. He tells the techs no more. Here I go again. Drag him down the hall, walk him into the room, get him on the table. Push and push. Can't quit now because we are too close to the end.

By the time he finished his txs he was in bad shape. Couldn't get out of bed, go to the bathroom, stand or even sit. His ears were clogged so he couldn't hear, his skin was burned, and he was 50 pounds lighter.

One month after txs..... back on his feet and back to work. Feeding himself through his tube and recovering.

2 months after txs... tube removed. Eating not easy but he did it.

Each month brought new improvements. More weight, easier eating, back to working normally.

Now we are only a couple of months before his 2 year anniversary. And now if you talk to this hard headed man he will say this to you as he has to everyone he knows.....

"If it weren't for my wife I would not be here now. She saved me life to spite me and I am grateful!"

It is almost everyday that he tells me I saved his life. I don't look at it that way because the truth is that he saved his own life by doing the things that needed to be done. I was just the reminder that this and that must be done and the cheerleader who refused to give up even when he was fighting with himself.

The sooner you tackle this disease the greater your odds of survival. It is just that simple. The more time you spend thinking of excuses and reasons not to..... the more time this disease has to grow.

This is your battle. No one else's battle will be the same so don't lose a moment of time taking care of what you know you need to do.

Take your stubournness and channel against the cancer... not the txs.

It is a difficult journey but then no one promised you that anything in life was going to be easy. So get up, drive on to the hospital, here or in Dallas, get started.

It isn't going to just disappear but you might and ask yourself.... isn't your life worth the fight?

Rebecca, I hope that this will help a little. I know it seems harsh and it is because the reality is harsh. But the results are worth every bit. Let him know that!!!

All the best to you both!

If you need any help don here in Houston just ask. Where there is a will a path can always be found.

With Love,
Cindy