I've not posted for some time.

Need to talk to someone, thats been here, that knows how hard it is.

Mum finished radiotheraphy in April 07, been a hard journey sionce then, many side effects, so painfull to watch.

Told in August that visually by looking in her mouth it had gone, and it was all good.

September scan carried out, October scan results scan show scare tissue or cancer is back.

November Biopsy

Friday 29.11.07 results show CANCER IS BACK, no option of treatment "things have moved on now , maybe less than 6mts, we will aim to give you a good and dignified death"

I knew this was coming, Mum knew it was back and had told me for the last 2/3 mths.

Just hearing the doctor confirm it made it real, until then I did not have to face the reality.

My BIG FEAR, she will have a bad death, but how do I prepare for what will come.

She so thin, her breath smells, the doctor said she has bateria and mould in her throat, due to her not swallowing anything.

She is also amazing, she just tells me to be brave and at least I have sometime to prepare, how can I prepare, how come she never cries, she tells me she hopes she dies soon as she is scared of being in pain.

Talking here helps but the tears just roll, I guess they have to come out sometime.