That could be, Sophie - maybe that's why they need to be reassured that the love you have for them is not dependant so much on the outward appearances but rather on the true inner beauty of the person and the love connection that you have. My son told me one day about how he had expressed to his therapist that he felt badly about having to rely on me so much for everything, even tho' I had repeatedly assured him that I loved him and wanted and needed to help him thru this cancer fight. He said his therapist asked him if he wouldn't do the same for his daughter if she needed him? It was then that he understood. Just being able to keep busy doing something is what helped me get thru the dark days and keep the anxiety attacks at bay. That, and of course this OCF site and the many compassionate people who made me feel I was not alone.