Good evening everyone! This is my first day to emerge from the dark places of lurking around, clandestinely (is that even a word) reading posts and hearing about everyone through my husband, Ed (aka: Uptown). For a long time I felt I was invading the intimate/hallowed spaces of everyone's circumstances/situations...

Over a Starbuck's today, I asked Ed if anyone used Caringbridge.com for their family and friends. (My little recovering techno-geek, as he once called himself, informed me that Caringbridge.com was a BLOG! To which I promptly informed him that that wasn't very nice and certainly he should never call me that again!)

Forgive the (I feel it coming on) long story... (Sorry, Ed - I really don't mean to embarrass you.)

The day Ed went in for his "let's get ready to roll" surgery (i.e., yanking all his posterior teeth and the medaport and gastrostomy tube installed they had just kicked me out of the holding tank prior to wheeling him away. God was that scarey! I hated it and wanted the Dr. to turn around and say, "kidding! We were only practicing our procedures!" I was staring into space half eavesdropping on families' conversations without really processing what they were saying. There was this mother and daughter talking across from me. I can't imagine the courage of the woman scheduled for surgery because of all the people she was with - it was nearly impossible to tell who the patient was! They were talking, laughing and her mom called her name. They were so engrossed in their conversation that when the surgical staff called this lady's name - nobody in the room responded. I excused myself for interrupting and asked if they were calling one of them...

Through Ed's surgery, her mom and I got to chatting and when Ed was finally done and they escorted me to his room where "he'd be waiting for me", I wished her well, got a hug, shed some tears and off I went to join Ed in the war we just started waging. (Oh, let me tell you... his surgical recovery time was short because of the urgency to get started on simultaneous chemo and radiation...and UGLY! Oh, was it ugly.) 'Made me want to cry for him.

Ed went through 45 days of radiation and three rounds of chemo and on his last day of chemo - here's this lady that had surgery two months earlier - and it was her FIRST day of chemo! Because I never really met her, I introduced myself (hugged her mom) and quickly told her that her mom was such a blessing that day and wished her well.

If anyone's familiar with UTSW in Dallas, the chemo lab has this little room with a heater for blankets. They also keep soda, juice, snacks, etc for patients. Anyway, Debra's husband was this big tall guy that looked like a scared kitten hovering in the corner watching his wife get swallowed by an unfriendly blue vinyl recliner. I asked him to come with me and while I was able to "show him the ropes" told him how scared I was at the "what should we expect" thoughts. Told him Ed really liked the first thing, for me to offer a pillow, a warm blanket and maybe something to drink - maybe he would like to establish that same routine with Debra?

We hugged thinking we'd never see each other again, since she was fighting breast cancer and Ed just finished what treatments were available for his base of tongue stuff. Before I left she asked me if I would please visit her again and gave me the address for caringbridge.com.

Since then, we've actually run into her while she was headed to radiation and we were headed to visit our angels in Radiation Oncology. I've since been SO blessed that she trusted me with her site AND that I was able to keep up to date with her challenges and milestones throughout her recovery.

If my family were more into computers - I would liked to have done that for Ed. People who love our cancer warriors are so concerned and try to be loving by "not bothering" us with phone calls because they're so afraid they're going to interupt or wake us but they SO want to know. You can create a little journal (as often or as short as you'd like) photos, etc and friends and family can reply/just visit/share...

Just a thought. Sorry to be so verbose but you gotta know how important you are! I thank God everyday for people like you who boost our morale, encourage our spouses and make even a really crappy situation tolerable. It makes my heart swell to think (even when our society seems to be becoming indifferent and people begin expecting something in return for whatever they might "do" for another/there's strings attached) you folks are there to prove there's really hope, kindness and genuine love.

Have a great evening!

Susan