Cindy
This all sounds way too familiar. Yes I still think we have the same guy only displaced into different bodies. Keep Fighting you are so close to the end of this part of the road. Remember rads and chemo are cumulative and the effects still kick worse for a few weeks after you are done. Bob commented today that the two/three weeks after treatment were the closest he ever wants to come to death without dieing...BTW After I read your posts I asked him how he felt when I was upset during his treatments and he responded "were you really upset? I really didn't register it I was so focused on all that was happening to me " He truly doesn't remember anything about me being emotional at all but he does remember me trying to get things done. When you are down and the crying seems uncontrolled you are just hitting the wall similar to the wall elite athletes have to push through to complete marathons etc. We have limited resources and somehow this release is necessary to replenish our strength. I don't know how that works but it does. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. You are so doing this thing. And the right way!!! Morphine is actually your friend right now. ( I too had the pharmacy jerk around) Harry needs the release despite the complications. I did notice that some of what Bob said under the influence really wasn't logical, but he was relieved of his discomfort. My analytical engineer was seemingly confused? However be aware of the potential side effects. Bob's worse was the constipation, don't know if that happens with a PEG but if I wasn't prepared with lots of Senekot it would have been awful instead it only was difficult. Anyway get prepared for crossing the finish line, even if it isn't where you thought it would be.
And remember somebody may move it but it is attainable. Peace Denise