Angie,

I am so sorry that it has come down to this. I think I know how you feel. Heather was only 29 when this disease claimed her life. Besides parents, grandparents, siblings and friends, she also left behind a husband and young daughter. It was devastating, not just to lose her, but to have to watch her suffer. She also had holes in her neck. Near the end, she had fluids leaking from her nose, mouth and ears. It is a terrible thing to witness. I can feel your anguish. I only wish there was something I could say to ease the pain.

I, too, hope Kim doesn't have to suffer much. Don't be afraid to have the pain meds increased as needed. The main thing now is to keep her as comfortable as possible. Please take advantage of all the services hospice has to offer. They can help to make the final journey a little more bearable.

Your pain will not be eased anytime soon. It has been more than a year now since we lost Heather and I am still hurt, angry and even bewildered at times. I still have trouble accepting that it had to be this way. I did not go to grief counseling and I only recently went on an anti-depressant. I suggest that you and your family not wait as long as I did to take these steps.

Please vent here as often as you want. I derived a great deal of comfort from the people on the forum. I knew they would listen to all my ramblings. There is a common bond here that reaches across the miles.

Sending hugs to you and yours. May your god be with you.
Rosie