That reminds me of my feeling when I was under the mask for the first time and fighting so hard to keep from panicking - I kept telling myself I can either handle it or not, and even if I can't handle it, I still have to deal with the situation - I do not have that kind of trust in God, so I could not be quite sure it wasn't too much for me. And how proud and grateful I was when they took the mask off and told me I had done fine - and how disgusted I was when they told me I had to go upstairs and get a scan under the damn thing the same day. But every day when I got through the treatment, I felt the kind of pride in myself that you can understand, but those who haven't been through it can't.

And Eric, after each one of your hour-long treatments, make sure you remind yourself that we are all proud of you for surviving another one of them. Does this make any sense?

Leena