Sharlee - It seems like there are those men who like to fix things and when they can't fix it, they don't know what to do. You can fix a snow blower but how do you "fix" a person when all the popular "fix-it" people are telling us that they only person you can fix or change is yourself? Could be that your husband is afraid of what he'll find out in his research. As a CG to my son, I found it very difficult to look up some things because I was so afraid of finding out. We all respond differently to situations - it doesn't mean that the feelings or the love aren't there. I was married for 20 years and at one point in our marriage, I asked my husband why he didn't say he loved me. He responded with "I told you the day we were married, don't you remember?" I did find out tho' in other ways that the love was there. As others have noted, in communicating, it is better to use "feeling" words ("I feel that. . ") instead of the accusatory "you". And it is important to have someone to talk to in person who will be objective and can help sort out your feelings. Maybe a counselor or psychologist associated with the Cancer Center?