Hi Eve! Ditto everyone above. Definitely get the medical team and nutritionist involved. Let them do the pushing. I was my husbands 24-7 caregiver. He was much like your dad, refusing to use his PEG and didn't want to take any medication, etc. Sometimes, my husband wouldn't do it for me, but he would if the doctors insisted.

The only thing I'd like to add or comment on is about what your mom is going thru herself. So many times the emphasis and attention is on the patient; the caregiver is taken for granted and feel left in the cold. We as caregivers do all we can for our patient, often ignoring our own problems, feelings, and health just to make life as easy as possible for the one we love. But, we too become tire and stressed. Even though we understand all the reasons why we are being snapped at and why the patient is irritable and grouchy, it can often be a challenge to keep our thoughts to ourselves and not snap back.

During my husbands 6 month treatment, it seemed like I couldn't do anything right. Normally my husband is generally an easy going, kind man. But, under these circumstances no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't please him or make him comfortable. I knew it was the situation and pain making his this way. But knowing this didn't always make it easy. For the most part, I think I held my peace pretty well, but there were a couple of times that I snapped back at him when he was giving me a really hard time. I hated myself afterward. After he completed his treatment, we both made apologies for anything said under direst and recongized the effort and struggles the other went thru. In some crazy way, this has even brought us closer.

My point is this: Don't let your mom be too hard on herself if she isn't always the "perfect" caregiver. She is human too and has to be just as forgiving of herself as she is with your dad. I'm sure that when THEY come out at the other end of all of this, the anger and frustation will be forgotten and only the love will remain.

Hugs and prayers, Vickie