Sm Minnow,
Ask yes-no questions: Can I make you dinner? Can I pick up some groceries? This way you empower him. If you say: What can I do for you? You may be setting him up for rejection, and he doesn't need that.

Books on tape were my favorite gift for those long, lonely, dark nights.

When things get really rough for him, as Mark said earlier, identify what his needs are: driving cooking, cleaning, computer... Xerox the calendar month , rally up friends, neighbors to sign up for doing a job on a specific day that is convenient for them.

At first, i did not want to accept help from anyone for fear i could never repay the favor. When I realized that I was actually returning a favor: Allowing them to rise up on their ladder of righteousness, it was easier to accept.

Don't forget to send a card every once in a while. It's something he can display, reread, and if it is funny, it will bring another laugh on. The more laughing the better!

eva