Hi Jackie,

I'm so sorry your mom has cancer. Although, it is good to know she is living with a great support team.

Are you working with or already planning to go to a Cancer Center with an oral cancer specialty? How frustrating that you have been waiting so long to get biopsy results.

When my husband was diagnosed by his ENT, the ENT wanted to do surgery within 2 days and then he wanted us to find our own chemo and radiation drs. post surgery.

Fortunately, our family doctor referred us to a cancer center where an ENT surgeon, a chemo doctor and a radiation doctor all reviewed his case and they jointly determined a course of treatment. And, they are all working together within one facility.

I sometimes think about how much harder this would have been if we went the route our ENT suggested.

I have 2 kids (ages 13 and 12) and their dad has base of tongue cancer and he has 4 RT treatments and 1 chemo treatment left.

As far as talking to your daughter, I was surprised at how well my kids took the news. Initially, they were sad and concerned. However, our treatment team believes my husband will be a survivor, so we have always stayed optimistic in my husband's ultimate outcome.

And, they have had a chance to meet the doctor's and nurses on my husband's team. Both of my kids were made aware that his treatment team was going to make him very sick in an effort to kill the cancer...and, then he would get better again.

And, they have seen me break down and cry more times than I can count this summer. I, too, believe in my husband's recovery. It's just hard to see anyone go through these treatments.

It's surprising how resilient and optimistic kids are. They are handling this really well...I would say better than I am on most days. :-)

I look forward to hearing more about your mom's treatment plan. It took about a month from the diagnosis to get him assessed and set up for a treatment plan. That was a hard month...my best advice there is take a notebook or a tape recorder to every appointment. There is just so much information...and, for me (a very non-medical person) it was very overwhelming.

Now, it isn't so overwhelming...and, I am becoming better with the terminology. And, I am able to see clearly that this is just one lousy, concentrated short time of life.

The kids and I spend a lot of time saying "this time next year we will be doing...." Because, we look forward to this being a memory next summer instead of the reality it is now.

Wishing you and your mom the best,