Hello everyone,
I'm a 41 yr old mother of two who's mom was diagnosed last friday (july 27) with oral cancer. She noticed a painful lump in her gums about two or three months ago and has been bugging doctors ever since. She had three different biopsies done on the area over the last few months and had to call and call and call and keep bugging doctors because she knew in her heart it was cancer (smoking 50+ years).

The diagnosis was not too much of a surprise to any of us but the news is still overwhelmingly devastating to hear.

I have a few issues I have already become very anxious about especially after doing extensive reading on this board for the past week or so.

I am getting a fairly clear picture of the suffering that people with oral cancers go through and it's already breaking my heart to imagine my mom going through all that.

My mother lives with my husband, me and our two children 10 an 2.

My 10 year old daughter is so so close to grandma and i'm not sure how to tell her without breaking down completely.

I don't want my kids to witness the terrible suffering their grandma may go through but seeing as mom lives with us and I am a stay at home mom I will also be her primary care giver (my dad and her are separated for many years).

These are just a few of the heartbreaking things that have went through my mind so far and I'm sure I'll have many, many questions and complaints over the coming months.

It's nice to have a place to come to express these feelings. I find that I can organize my thoughts and not get too emotional by writing things instead of talking to people. Whenever I try to talk to anyone about this (sisters, friends, husband) I break down completely.

Thanks for listening.

Jackie