Since my diagnosis I have truly been on what could only be described as an emotional rollercoaster.

There are days I have where I am just fine and dandy, optimistic and ready to fight this thing head on. There are days when I am just full of self-pity (these thankfully are very few and I always manage to check myself before it really takes hold!. The worst is obviously when I have a bad week at work. Unfortunately being a truck driver when this happens - for example yesterday!! I ran the whole gamut of emotions from wanting to quit the job there and then whereby I would lose my insurance (that is still hard for me to take as I am from England originally where I wouldnt have run the risk of being bankrupted just for getting sick - that is something I will NEVER get used to!) to getting very angry at everyone and everything, which worries and upsets my fiancee, which is something I very much DO NOT want to do, as she had to nurse her mother through cancer to she eventually passed away.

So I guess I am asking a little advice here....even though it will cost me a weeks pay do you think I should return home maybe early?? My surgery isnt due till 7/9 and I dont get home from off the road until 7/7. It is OK out here if things are going smoothly, but this week they have not and I find I am almost completely unable to cope with those extra demands right now. Am I being silly and should I just 'buck up'??

I guess I maybe fooled myself that I was handling this all pretty good....but whenever I have any other kind of distraction it all just seems to ram itself home even more.

Thank you all and take care
Christopher