Welcome to OCF! Im very sorry to hear about your friend and mentor being recently diagnosed with oral cancer (OC). You have found the very best resource to help you both with info and support. I suggest start reading both here and on the main OCF site where theres page after page of important info OC patients and their caregivers should know. Stick with us and you will learn tons of tips on how to best help your friend. We've been thru this ourselves and know what to avoid and what it takes to get thru this as easy as possible.
Finding the best medical team, treatment center and getting a treatment plan would be the first step. If at all possible a comprehensive cancer center (CCC) would be the best place for treatments which likely will include surgery, radiation and chemo. Its been scientifically proven patients fare best at CCCs. Naming a few off the top of my head would include Sloan Kettering, MD Anderson, Johns Hopkins and Moffitt are some of the he top CCCs in the US. The CCCs will have the best and brightest doctors who are highly skilled with the latest techniques. A second opinion is also a good idea especially with later stages of OC III and IV. Once the medical team is selected if its a CCC, all the specialists get together at whats called a tumor board meeting to discuss each individual case and set up the treatment plan. Patients and caregivers are able to attend this too.
Receiving a cancer diagnosis is not easy to handle mentally for anyone! You mentioned being concerned about depression, if depression plays a part in this that should be addressed sooner rather than later. Often patients need some help thru counseling and meds to get thru the shock of being forced to face their own morality. Even many caregivers need some temporary help as well. The medicines prescribed for depression or anxiety can take weeks before they start working. If a couple different meds or doses are tried, it can be months before your friend will know if what hes taking is what works for him.
You will be surprised at reactions when people learn of your friends illness. Some people that are the closest to your friend that you think will be his best supporters will head for the hills making themselves scarce until your friend is well into his recovery. Others you or your friend barely know will step up and become strong supporters. One important thing to start doing right from the beginning is when anyone is told about your friends illness and they offer to helpIm including a few links to important things that can help newly diagnosed patients and caregivers. One important thing to start doing right from the beginning is when anyone is told about your friends illness and they offer to help taking down their name and full contact info. Start a list of those who offer assistance telling them when the time comes you will let them know what they can do to help. Theres a million and one little things that can be done to make this as easy as possible.
For right now, encourage your friend to eat and enjoy all his favorite foods, desserts too. No matter which treatment plan your friend goes with, his ability to eat and drink will be affected. For almost all patients diagnosed with OC, their eating ability will temporarily be compromised. Its not easy to eat when food doesnt taste how you think it should. Im sure I will get into this much more in my future posts to you as intake really is a HUGE part of this.
Best wishes with everything!!!
NCI list of CCCsUS News Best Hospitals ListOCF main site --- Diagnosis OCF main site --- Treatment 
