I"m not sure what kind of tube he has. It's sticking out of his belly.

He couldn't even handle the pain from a popsicle today so going to the feeding tube is necessary. He refuses to use the numbing stuff the pharmacy made for him. I've had strep enough times in my life and describe it like swallowing razors so I would be all over that numbing med! He does like to be a martyr sometimes.

I"m just reminding myself that I am taking care of a hospice patient and not the person who was abusive to me for decades. I can't let my emotions get tied up in this or I would have already left. I do feel tremendous empathy but must keep my emotions a little removed for my own sanity.

I can see him calling it quits...he has already mentioned it. But the nurses and doctors are pretty good at moving him forward. He has 25 more radiation treatments and 2 chemo. I think the next chemo is next week or the week after. They said 3 treatments. His first one was 2 weeks ago.