NOOOOOO!!!!!!

I am so very sorry!!!!! I have been thru this myself and know how devastating this can be. However... this time you already have your medical team and know far more than you did than when you went thru it the first time. A recurrence diagnosis is something you must take very seriously and not delay in getting it taken care of. Im sure this must have completely blindsided you! You just finished treatments where its awfully early for a recurrence.

First... the doc said he didnt need to wait for the biopsy results? WRONG!!!!!! Until the results come back you have NOT officially been diagnosis. Of course your doc does this sort of thing daily and knows what cancerous tumors should look like but until that biopsy comes back with a definitive positive for SCC diagnosis from the pathologist your doc (and you) should NOT be jumping to conclusions. Ive seen incidents where everyone was certain it was a recurrence and it was just scar tissue on that path report. OCF had a set of photos where we could browse thru them and I always tried to guess which ones were cancerous and which ones were not. Guess what? Its nearly impossible to know what is and what isnt cancer by visually looking at something. I am not trying to give false hope but I want you to begin immediately to consider not every doctor knows everything. One of our OCF sayings is.... "Its NOT cancer until the biopsy says it is."

Before just going with anything that the doc offers go for a second opinion.... at a CCC!!! For this do NOT delay!!! I highly recommend Sloan Kettering, MD Anderson, Johns Hopkins, or Vanderbilt are all excellent choices with the first 2 mentioned being the top 2 CCCs in the US. If you were already treated at one of those places, find another one to go to ASAP. You can not waste time doctor shopping or hiding in bed pulling the covers over your head. I do not want to sound harsh or insensitive.... I really do completely understand what you are going thru but you MUST get up and face this head on instead of allowing it to devastate you. Today is pretty much over for those of us on the east coast of the US, whats done is done and use this day as your day of "mourning". Your next move must be to put away those fears and "what ifs" and start being your own strongest cheerleader and advocate. Stand up and get the ball rolling on taking positive steps to analyze your options and make yourself the squeaky wheel until you get the attention and options you deserve. The top docs at CCCs arent going to take a doctors hunch as a cancer recurrence diagnosis, they will need to see the pathologists report saying you do actually have a recurrence. Since you just went thru rads, if this truly is a recurrence, surgery is what you most likely are looking at. The top CCCs have EXCELLENT surgeons. Some are able to do things other smaller regional facilities can only dream of while using the latest, state of the art equipment those smaller regional facilities doctors may have only read about. Over the years, Ive had the opportunity to meet a few of the "top docs" and if I ever got sick again I would immediately get my butt moving and run as fast as I could right to one of the top docs to give me the very best chance of eliminating the cancer permanently.

I know how you are feeling, Ive been thru it myself... twice! How I detest seeing any of our members go thru this!!! Its not fair and it certainly is NOT easy but for your own sanity you must take a deep breath and take a step back to view the entire picture to think logically and take your health and possible recurrence step by step. Avoid the "what if" thinking like the plague so you wont become paralyzed by fear of the unknown. If fear takes hold of you, physically get up and "change the channel" by going immediately to do something that engages your mind and is positive. I used to clean out my closets and by the time I went to get treated boy did I have the cleanest and most organized closets!

We're here to lean on if you need us. We are in your corner all pulling for you. As soon as possible get moving on calling the CCCs for at least a second opinion. Make a goal to make positive progress every single day. Get that game plan started, get your game face on and start becoming your own strongest advocate.


(((((HUGS)))))