Ah I see well I've already talked about this with my mom and my brother, to really track how she takes her meds and to report all symptoms to her oncologist as she goes through treatment.

I'm so sorry that John did not make it. It's truly terrible what this disease does to people and their families.

I had a mini panic attack today so I had to ask for some free time off work. I was thinking of maybe getting some counseling if these bad feels and thoughts don't go away.

I've discussed my fears with some of my family members and they've all been adamant that I should stop reading studies and statistics, they're things that I don't have control over. I think they are right, I just wish I had their strength of mind. Luckily my mom is doing very well currently, she's not in too much pain or discomfort, she's eating well and just had visited her hairdresser today. I wish I could be there enjoying these peaks with her because they're definitely not going to last once she's in full treatment. I have to make my mom proud, no matter what happens. I have to focus on the things I do have control over and things that can bring her joy (seeing me graduate).

Once again thank you for your posts gmcraft. I'm 24 and none of my friends have experiences with cancer of really close relatives (and i hope they never do, it's terrible to face the inevitable mortality of your loved ones at a young age). Talking to someone who understands is very helpful.